Comments on: Definitions of Self Esteem

By: dude

dude — Wed, 11 Nov 2009 23:15:49 +0000

unconditional appreciation for ones self is the most comforting to read…

By: RickSmithAuthor

RickSmithAuthor — Tue, 03 Nov 2009 20:12:15 +0000

Great post. I know Silvia Lagnado well – she is the amazing woman who launched the Dove campaign for real beauty. In fact, I profile her in my new book, The Leap. She is an excellent example of someone kicking butt on her own terms, and leaving a positive benefit as well. The Dove message of self-esteem is so powerful, and so needed.

Rick Smith

By: david365

david365 — Wed, 28 Oct 2009 23:12:48 +0000

I agree – I always try to emphasis healthy self esteem as a goal rather than “high”. Those with high self esteem are less likely to reflect on their behaviour and its consequence to others.

By: Amy LeForge

Amy LeForge — Wed, 28 Oct 2009 21:56:44 +0000

Given the dramatic (and in my opinion) less than stellar result of the Self Esteem Movement, I would want to add the word “realistic” to your definition somehow. I agree completely that unconditional love of self is important…however it's easy to slide into an overinflated opinion from there.

The 20-somethings that have just finished college and demand the corner office with 6-figure salaries are a bit, ummmm, offensive. I'm glad they feel good about themselves, however I don't really care to spend time with that attitude. Just sayin'.

By: david365

david365 — Mon, 26 Oct 2009 07:29:22 +0000

Thanks for you comment Bruce

By: Bruce

Bruce — Sun, 25 Oct 2009 21:37:29 +0000

I believe every person has intrinsic value and can increase their value through interactions with people. Even if you have no “talents” or special characteristics, you can interact in such a way to make the interaction a good one for the other person or not. You don't have to keep score to know you have a habit that adds to your interactions with others or detracts. I believe you gain value for yourself and to society by how you treat others. I think this raises self esteem or lowers it depending on your interactions and regular thoughts.

By: Alex Shalman

Alex Shalman — Sat, 24 Oct 2009 21:13:17 +0000

It's not about a defined quality, such as everyone having to think they look great. It's about being a valuable person in your own unique way, without comparing yourself to others, but with serving others in some way.

By: Alex Shalman

Alex Shalman — Sat, 24 Oct 2009 21:12:37 +0000

Thanks for interacting with what I said on my blog David. You ask a good question, what if people can't come up with a reason of why they're already valuable?

Is the guy sitting at home all day long, watching tv, and ordering pizza from his welfare checks a valuable member of society? Is the guy selling crack to kids and pregnant women a valuable person? Maybe if they did ask themselves if they're worth feeding, and came up with NO as the answer, they might consider changing for the better?… or not…

By: evanhadkins

evanhadkins — Sat, 24 Oct 2009 20:36:50 +0000

I'm for unconditional acceptance. If self-esteem is about a particular quality then most people in the world (those who don't have most of that quality) are condemned to misery.

By: David

David — Sat, 24 Oct 2009 17:23:41 +0000

Ironically the person selling crack may well have very high self esteem – which is another issue!
Since writing the post I read an article about Britain's fattest man (possibly the worlds) at 70 stone (980 lbs). He does sit at home on welfare (he can hardly move) being cared for (others have to prepare give him his food) watching TV (there is not much else he can do). The article suggests it was depression that led to the over eating. My point, which I think I argued in your posts comments, is those with low self esteem will get that reinforced trying to answer the question.

And sadly in the case of our “fat man”- some argue the state shouldn't be funding his care – £100,000 a year to keep him alive. In effect saying he is not “worth feeding”, which is getting into dodgy political territory…. Article:-
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/comment/column...