I was complaining to a girl at the gym that I was struggling to lose the gut.. .but she was saying she liked how defined I look.

So… it’s all subjective, eh?

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Also, excersize does, among other things, raise self-esteem, mood, can prevent and help cure depression, improve your body-image, help you to realize that statistically speaking, almost everyone (except for a very small percentage of the population) could stand to lose some weight to be in their ideal range. Additionally, studies show that almost everyone says that they could stand to lose some weight, regardless of their current weight/health status. So, you’re not alone. If you start excersizing you’ll start to feel better and it can help improve your self-confidence.

Alternatively, you could face your worst nightmare. This is not a step to be taken lightly, and you might want to consult a therapist with your issue first. Someone, somewhere placed a lot of emphasis on looks as super important to your survival and to your worthiness of love and you might wnat to root that out so you can live free. I might wonder if the person was made fun of as a child for either his weight or something else. I was made fun of as a child, but not for weight, almost everyone was, and one of the things that helped me was to say what I was afraid of hearing. So, in this case it might be, “No one will ever love me or care about me cause I’m fat and ugly.” and recognize that a) it’s not true, because I’m sure you have friends right now, and if you don’t, it has nothing to do with your self-judgement that you are fat or ugly, it has to do with your belief that friends only care what you look like on the outside. b) you’ll realize that you survived and you can handle it.