Comments on: Gaining self confidence

By: David

David — Sun, 07 Sep 2008 08:10:41 +0000

I read this just before my wife drags me out cycling, so I'm going to be a bit more mindful of the risks! But point well made. Davids last blog post..How to Deliver a Criticism Sandwich

By: Jason

Jason — Sun, 07 Sep 2008 00:48:55 +0000

Well, I guess it comes back to the way ‘life’ seems to work for us humans in that we are either growing or atrophying (shrivelling-up!). To use the time worn saying that “the only thing constant in life is change” is not just true of our external environment or our physical being. The longer we hold onto anything in our lives (both external and internal), and resist those things (unconsciously or consciously), that might impact, threaten or ‘change’ us, is to remove ourselves from the constant flow of ‘life’.
A less fearful, more objective view of our lives enables us to see risk for what it is – a risk not worth attracting or a risk that will help us grow. We observe the relevant facts presented to us, make a decision, then ‘just do it’ – simple and in the flow! Yes, experience and prior knowledge can guide us in making ‘better’ decisions but there is no substitute for clear understanding and acknowledgement of the facts in the present.
When cycling to work I do not assume drivers have seen me, that pedestrians won’t walk-out in front of me, or a dog won’t decide to chase me. I am mindful and attentive to these risks but have no fear of them and enjoy the thrill of close calls that could have been disastrous if I had relied on my comfort zone and safe assumption. The comfort zone is simply the attachment to what is know which is past and dead. How can anyone learn something new if new things are rejected in favour of the known and how exactly did we learn the known?

By: Renita Farrall

Renita Farrall — Wed, 27 Aug 2008 14:27:13 +0000

I love the picture. We went to Gozo and saw the arch and had a boat ride there also. It is a beautiful place. Probably the most beautiful place I have ever seen in my few travels. I did not want to leave there.

Talking about getting out of your comfort zone my husband had to really step out of his when he got in that boat because they did not have life jackets and the sea was rather rough. He was holding on for dear life most of the time out there. I was loving it. It was so beautiful.

Gozo was the island we loved the most over there. Malta was ok, but there was something about Gozo that we loved.

Thanks for the memories.

By: Fendyk

Fendyk — Mon, 18 Aug 2008 11:05:22 +0000

You have provide a great suggestions. It is helpful for me. Thanks for your valuable ideas. Fendyk's last blog post..Pasadena, California

By: David

David — Fri, 15 Aug 2008 06:29:59 +0000

Sid - I will come back to the specific situations in a future post. But a somewhat simplistic answer to your "which direction" depends on where you want to go. If you lack confidence say in social situations, your comfort zone is to stay at home and watch TV (for example). To step out, you need to look at gradually doing things that involve increasing social interaction. David's last blog post..Gaining self confidence

By: Sid Savara

Sid Savara — Thu, 14 Aug 2008 00:25:24 +0000

David, I agree we need to set outside our comfort zone to grow. I wonder if perhaps there are exercises or strategies that you would recommend for some very specific situations (such social anxiety, fear of rejection, etc) that might be useful for people who want to gain self confidence, but perhaps lack direction, and specifics of how to do so? It's easy to say "Well, step out of your comfort zone!" but perhaps some people would like some specific recommendations (e.g., talk to 5 people a day, etc). Sid Savara's last blog post..Are You Really Working - or Just Using Metawork as an Excuse to Avoid Real Work?

By: David

David — Mon, 11 Aug 2008 21:33:10 +0000

Sherri – thanks for the suggestion, I will answer in a future post.
Karen & Kate – I agree with you both, I think pushing ourselves (however gently) stops us grinding to a halt. I write this having just been out having a swimming lesson from my daughter. I can swim, but have very poor technique. Arriving home from work it needed effort to go ahead with the lesson (which was hard work!!). But I’m not going to improve my swimming without the effort, without doing something a bit uncomfortable.

David’s last blog post..Gaining self confidence

By: Kate Saltfleet

Kate Saltfleet — Mon, 11 Aug 2008 19:57:05 +0000

There will always be the area outside the comfort zone which is the development zone. Sure, we can stay in the comfort zone, there's nothing inherently wrong with that, just like there's nothing wrong with never leaving your own country. But why wouldn't you want to discover more of what life has to offer? Kate Saltfleet's last blog post..Plant foods for preserving muscle mass

By: Karen (karooch from Scraps of mind)

Karen (karooch from Scraps of mind) — Sun, 10 Aug 2008 22:01:03 +0000

Whilst risk for risk's sake seems stupid to me, I do think we're becoming unnecessarily protective in our lives. Stepping out of your comfort zone, whatever that it, always gives a feeling of accomplishment and satisfaction that you don't get otherwise. As a society we seem to have a knee jerk reaction whenever someone is hurt doing some activity to shroud it in protection. We can't live a life in cotton wool. Although as we move more and more to a litigious society, that is what is happening. Karen (karooch from Scraps of mind)'s last blog post..Scraps of Mind - The Magazine

By: Debt Free or Bust

Debt Free or Bust — Sun, 10 Aug 2008 17:59:25 +0000

Is there a connection between self-esteem and depression? If so, would your elaborate in a post? Contratulations on your 23rd anniversary! Thanks, Sherri Debt Free or Bust's last blog post..Sponsorship Opportunity on Debt Free or Bust!