The actor Colin Farrell says
“I definitely have an addictive personality”
- he succumbed not just to alcohol and drugs but to breakfast cereal Rice Krispies! He has been treated for his addictions at the Crossroads Center, a rehab clinic set up by rock guitarist Eric Clapton in Antigua.
Coincidentally, Clapton, is another celebrity who has admitted to an “addictive personality”. He went through addictions to heroin, cocaine and alcohol. He was successfully treated for his drug addiction, but then fell into problems with alcohol.
Whilst the term “addictive personality” may be helpful to explain away an addiction, it doesn’t have any real meaning or basis in science. There is some evidence that there is a genetic predisposition to develop addictions and some personality disorders can make someone more prone to compulsive behavior.
The other problem with “addictive personality” is it suggests that someone has no control, no way of stopping the problem. It can put responsibility out of their hands. It was interesting to listen to British comedian Jim Davidson blame everyone but himself for what had gone wrong in his life – an addict to woman as well as alcohol. As well as blaming his “addictive personality”, he blamed the press for the end of his fourth marriage following the publicizing of an affair:-
“The media did it. I wouldn’t have told her.”
Eric Clapton has referred to his very confused, tumultuous childhood – discovering his mother was actually his sister among other things. In his interview with David Frost he says:-
“…having discovered that I didn’t like who I was, that I had to go and, you know, bend myself to make myself attractive to other people. And I found that when I drank or took drugs or whatever or changed myself from the inside out that I felt I was more acceptable to other people.”
This sounds classically like someone trying to cope with low self esteem. I have no desire to dig into the pasts of Colin Farrell or Jim Davidson to see if they suffered low self esteem, but Elton John is another celebrity with well documented battles with drugs, alcohol and food.
Elton also says he has an “addictive personality”. But interestingly, Elton also talks about his harshly critical father:-
“I just thought I could never do anything right in my father’s eyes. From the word go, my earliest memory, we were awkward with each other and never knew how to communicate on a proper level as he did with his other children.
“He just intimidated me so much. I was afraid of him big-time. I used to think I could never do anything right. When he was around, I wasn’t even allowed to make a noise. I was even afraid of eating celery at the table.
“I know it knocked my self-esteem and I still suffer from that all the time. I still have terrible problems with the way I look, with my weight and stuff like that.”
I‘m not going to suggest that everyone with an addiction problem has low self esteem. But having discussed the link between depression and low self esteem, I think the link with addictions is just as relevant.
Why do we engage in activities like drug taking, drinking alcohol, gambling, over indulging with food? The simple answer is to feel better, to escape the present. Whilst the longer term effects may be destructive, we learn to enjoy the short term boosts – or distractions from reality.
We cover up uncomfortable feelings with the addictive behavior and for a few brief moments, we might actually feel better. Instead, of staying with our uncomfortable feelings and dealing with them, addictive behaviors bypass what might be difficult and painful. This becomes an emotional rollercoaster.
There have been studies that back up this logical link. A study at Florida State University found that low self-esteem and peer approval of drug use at age 11 predicted drug dependency at age 20. Professor John Taylor, one of those who carried out this 9 year study on 872 boys said:-
“Low self-esteem is kind of the spark plug for self-destructive behaviors, and drug use is one of these,” Taylor said. “It’s a fundamental need to have a good sense of self. Without it, people may become pathologically unhappy with themselves, and that can lead to some very serious problems.”
People who are unsure of themselves have trouble sustaining their relationships because their feelings get easily hurt. As I have discussed in the unhelpful thinking posts, its very easy to negatively interpret the actions or words of others. Feeling insulted, hurt, embarrassed, and ashamed (probably without due cause) their reactions can stifle blossoming friendships.
Addiction is not always in pursuit of pleasure, it can be an attempt to drown the pain. Being dissatisfied and frustrated with who you think you are and what you feel about yourself is a major problem with low self esteem. If someone starts using something as an alternative to that pain, an individual with low self esteem doesn’t have the will power to stand up to his or her addiction.
You can’t prove the addictive personality doesn’t exist (its very difficult to prove anything doesn’t exist!) and I’m sure that people will use it as a model to explain their addiction for years to come. But it doesn’t help deal with the addiction. Recognizing the link with low self esteem is a more useful model, not least because self esteem can be improved.
