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Archives for June 2007

A Sad Twist to an Earlier Blog

June 12, 2007 by David

We’ve all done it – typed our name into Google to see who else is out there (or whether we register in some way!). I did this yesterday and had quite a shock. I had blogged about the London marathon back in April, saying how completing it was such a tremendous achievement.

What I didn’t know until yesterday was that a 22 year old completed the marathon, his first, then later collapsed and died. He, like me, was called David Rogers. The Google link above took me to his Justgiving page, which is now full of condolences and tributes.

David Rogers died from drinking too much water – hyponatraemia – whilst running the marathon on what was a quite a hot day. As a fitness instructor he was undoubtedly better prepared to run a marathon than most, but sadly and cruelly he died at his moment of success.

I write this not to be morbid, but to remind us all how precious life is and how suddenly it can be taken away from us. Generally we enhance the quality of our life by taking up challenges and subjecting ourselves to risk. In the short term the safest thing we can do is stay in bed – but long term that would destroy us.

And yes – this David Rogers is still intending to swim the pier to pier in July!

Filed Under: goal setting Tagged With: self esteem, self-confidence

Bill of Rights

June 9, 2007 by David

I’ve been running a series of blogs that look at saying “No“ an essential part of confident communication. For some, learning to say this small word isn’t easy. We have learnt that saying no makes us uncaring, or selfish. Also, we learn to believe that by saying no we might lose friends, upset family or work colleagues.

Along with practicing the techniques for saying “No”, it is useful to tackle some of the underlying thinking that feeds these feelings. A good starting point is to draw up a “bill of rights” your rights. Here are a few suggestions

I have the right to:

respect myself

respect others

make mistakes

change my mind

to have my own opinions and values and share them with others

choose my friends

have time to myself each day

say what I feel

to be listened to

be free from physical or mental abuse

be (or become) healthy

be trusted

be happy

express my feelings

ask for what I want (accepting I may not always get it)

Filed Under: assertiveness, confidence exercises, self esteem Tagged With: bill of rights, no, self esteem, self-confidence

A Raincheck “No”

June 3, 2007 by David

A “raincheck no”, says a clear no to the current request but does respond with a positive offer:-

I can’t work your shift tomorrow as I’m doing something; however I can help out later in the week if thats any help?”

The bottom line is, though, to only make an offer if you genuinely want to. Don’t add a “raincheck no” to ease your guilt – stick to the reasoned no we’ve looked at before.

Filed Under: assertiveness, confidence exercises Tagged With: no, self esteem, self-confidence

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