7 Practical Tips For Boosting Your Self-Esteem

I'm forever coming across short articles or blog posts with seemingly useful tips.  But can such brief tidbits of information really do any good. For instance, with this article will any of the tips really "boost" you self esteem?

7 Practical Tips For Boosting Your Self-Esteem

by Ricky P O' Shea

Having healthy self-esteem is the building blocks for happy, vibrant living. It means you have confidence in yourself and your abilities whereas as having low self-esteem can mean you lack confidence in yourself and never reach your true potential.

The good news is that if your self-esteem could do with a boost then there are small changes that can make a big difference. It all starts with reprogramming your beliefs and weeding out the negative inner-dialogue. To help you get started, consider the following tips for boosting your self-esteem.

Selective ignorance

The feedback and solicitations from others can greatly impact your own state of being. Choose to source your information wisely, limiting negative media in place of more positive media such as seminars or educational activities. Surround yourself with others who are positive and bring out the best in you and avoid allowing the negativity of others to affect your own judgement.

Comfort Zone

If we don't push ourselves outside of our comfort zones then we have nothing to build on. You'd be surprised what you can achieve if you put your mind to it so take the plunge once in a while and take on new challenges. In doing so you'll naturally grow in confidence and give your self-esteem a much-needed boost.

Negative Inner-Dialogue

Our inner-dialogue greatly influences our reality! If your inner-dialogue and thought patterns are generally negative then your self-esteem is bound to be lower. Weed out any negative thought patterns such as "I can't" or "I'm not good enough" and replace them with positive ones instead.

Positive Affirmations

Affirmations are extremely effective for overcoming limiting beliefs. By repeatedly stating something to yourself you can slowly empower yourself with positive thoughts and beliefs. You can find many resources for affirmations online but the real key is to make them present tense, positive and stating an outcome you desire.

Stop Comparing

Media and society in general has a knack at making us feel we need to fit in. However, this simply isn't true! We are each unique and each have our own set of strengths and weaknesses. Avoid feeling inadequate by comparing your weaknesses against others and focus instead on developing your strengths.

Accept Compliments

It's easy to assume someone is lying or has ulterior motives when you're passed a compliment but more often than not it's genuine. Learn to accept compliments gracefully in order to strengthen your confidence. It will also help you to discover what you're good at so you can further develop your strengths.

Reward Yourself

We often neglect to acknowledge our achievements and pass them off as something not worth gloating about. But, your achievements, no matter how trivial they seem, should be rewarded. It's important to remind yourself that you're a valued person and that you deserve to be rewarded and acknowledged for your achievements.

Wrapping It Up

In this article we've covered a few simple but effective ways to boost your self-esteem. Most important of all is reprogramming your beliefs and inner-dialogue. If you weed out the self-limiting thought patterns and replace with positive statements your self-esteem will naturally grow.

Facing a particularly traumatic phase in your life?

If so,then try these 3 painless strategies for overcoming low self-esteem during trying times.


Article Source: EzineArticles.com

Simple huh! Unfortunately "reprogramming your beliefs and inner-dialogue" isn't that simple. Learning to accept compliments and rewarding yourself are good habits to get into and over the long term will help. I'm a great believer in stepping outside your comfort zone, but this is more of a benefit for self confidence rather than self esteem. I'm not sure how realist this "surrounding yourself" with positive people is, and there is eveidence that positive affirmations can be counter productive.



Skills to build self confidence

When researching my recent post build self confidence, I came across other articles and blogs on this theme. But as I discussed in my post, some of the tips and steps suggested elsewhere are somewhat dubious.

With a title 7 Smart Ways to Build Self Confidence, I thought Mohamed Tohami in Lost-Media.net may buck the trend.  Well, the result is very mixed. Here are his “smart ways”:-

Fire walking, skills to build self confidence

Building self confidence? dadjanda (Flickr.com)

1 Travel

2. Walk on Fire

3. Express yourself

4. Join a Toastmasters Chapter

5. Learn one new skill every year (at least)

6. Break a Record!

7. Study Self Confidence.


I think the last item is somewhat ironic as by studying self confidence you will have to wade through a swamp of contradictory advice! You’ll most likely end up confused rather than more confident. [click to continue…]


Build Self Confidence

This blog has many tips on how to build self confidence. I wrote a post 20 ways to build self confidence some time back. I now find there is even a video based on an article I discussed in that post!

My main criticism remains – walking faster and sitting in the front row are rather weird suggestions and hardly likely to have the desired effect.  If you lack self confidence you will feel very self conscious sitting in the front and feel worse.  There is no guarantee you will eventually get over that and feel more confident.

Feeling the fear and doing it anyway – as in Susan Jeffers book title – doesn’t work for everyone.  If you go along this route its about coming to terms that we have learnt to feel fear and associate it with that activity.  And, unless you are short sighted or hard of hearing, what actually do you achieve by sitting in the front? [click to continue…]

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Steve Jobs Living Each Day

The theme of this post is don’t wait for a life changing event to kick start you into action. Apart from self confidence, living each day more deliberately can can infuse your life with more meaning and focus.

Steve Jobs  Stanford University in 2005

This “commencement address” is now well known. I want to focus near the end; At 9:10  Steve says:-

“When I was 17, I read a quote that went something like: “If you live each day as if it was your last, someday you’ll most certainly be right.” It made an impression on me, and since then, for the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: “If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?” And whenever the answer has been “No” for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.”

steve jobs confidence

steve jobs - never forgotten

Steve, of course, has now had his last day at the age of 56.  When I started to write this post the papers and internet are full of stories about the death, at 48 , of Whitney Houston. This final part of Steve’s speech hammers home the fact that we are all mortal; You need to have the confidence to live the life you want – not what someone else wants:-

“Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life… Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice… Remembering that I’ll be dead soon is the most important tool I’ve ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life.” [click to continue…]


How to be Anxiety-Free: Top 10 Techniques

This is a guest post by Ryan Rivera of www.calmclinic.com

Oh my god! It is almost 12 noon and I am still stuck with this report. What will I do? I must make haste! Will I make it? Working in this pace is going to make me lose my job. I’m running out of time! Me? Fired? Oh, no! Rent’s due this Friday. What am I going to do?”

multi tasking

If this is the beat constantly playing in your work life, then I guess it is only a matter of time until this tune will beat the goodness out of you. This melody of anxiety can be quite disgruntling. The stress of trying to finish work before the deadline, the pressure of improving your work performance and the strain of meeting obligations and other responsibilities can cause extreme problems to your nerves.

Mind you. Your nerves can only handle too much. When they get smashed and thrashed all over the place with all the adrenaline and relentless worrying that you do, they will lose their functionality. This, unfortunately, will lead to the development of anxiety disorders.

If you wish to avoid this fate, here are some of the best techniques to help you cope with all the stress and anxiety surrounding you. [click to continue…]


Any Parting Regrets You’d Like to Share?

When you die, will it be full of regret at how you have lived your life? Will you have dreams unfulfilled – or pop off knowing you have lived your life to the full? May sound macabre, but death is one of the few certainties in life. However, you’d think we’ve forgotten we’re mortal the way we allow life to slip away.

The thoughts of those who know they have very limited time left have often been wake up calls to the rest of us.  I discussed Randy Pausch’s last lecture a couple of years ago – now over 14 million views on YouTube! His main message was

“never stop dreaming, never stop trying to achieve those dreams”

There has  been other work about the great truths to be found in the last moments of life, notably “Seize the Day” (formerly titled “Intimate Death”) by Marie de Hennezel.  From her work as a psychologist in palliative care her message is very much about making the most of life while we have it – not forgetting our mortality.

“You just need to realise that life is precious, and remember that every day.”

Regrets of the Dying

I have recently come across a blog written by someone else who has worked in palliative care. She also wrote down and collected the dying thoughts of those she cared for. And now the author, Bonnie Ware, has also published a book based around an article on her site:- Regrets of the Dying.

Whilst its well worth visiting her blog and reading the article, the 5 regrets she highlights are as follows:- [click to continue…]


Self Confidence is Hard Work

One of the main messages from “The Kings Confidence” is that George VI became confident at public speaking through hard work.

In my post “Are affirmations useless?” I discussed one of the founders of personal development, Samuel Smiles. In the 19th century his “Self Help” was only out sold by the bible! The underlying message from Smiles was that success came through dedication and hard work.

self confidence hockey

if at first you don't succeed....

He didn’t appear to believe in the concept of “genius”, all those he portrayed in his case studies got there by hard graft and application.

In that post I made a reference to Malcom Gladwell, who has published 3 excellent books. His “Outliers” makes reference to and develops the “10,000″ hours theory; successful people – such as The Beatles – get there through many hours of toil rather than innate ability.

Bounce – How Champions are Made

This is carried to another level by Matthew Syed in his book “Bounce” His argument is that for any significantly complex human activity natural talent is not particularly important. Top achievement is the consequence of huge amounts of what he calls “purposeful” or “disciplined” practice.

The desire to work hard is what most high achievers have in common. This is usually sparked by an early enthusiasm (although this may be brought on by parental enthusiasm as well!) and opportunity. [click to continue…]


Quick Self Confidence

This is guest post by Mark Tyrrell of Hypnosis Downloads.  There is nothing I really need to add, as he captures the very essence of self confidence in this article.

Improve your self confidence in 15 minutes

quick self confidence

15 minutes - what's the rush?

I used to be frighteningly under confident in social situations. And although people who know me now would never believe I used to doubt myself so much I literally had to learn confidence until it became a natural part of me. I can tell you relaxed optimistic confidence is just, well so much more fun.


Here I’ll tell you about the things that made the most difference to my confidence levels…

Some people have naturally high levels of confidence but everybody can learn to be more confident

Firstly, it’s important to get a clear idea of what self confidence really means, otherwise you won’t know when you’ve got it! So, self confidence means:

1) Being calm. For every situation in life you need to run on the appropriate level of emotion. Too much emotional ‘leakage’ into a experience can spoil the experience. You make great strides towards confidence when you begin to relax in a greater range of situations.

2) Being cool. The second part of self confidence is about [click to continue…]


The Kings Confidence

How would you feel about taking on a job that you were totally ill equipped to perform, where your self confidence was absolutely rock bottom?

A job that entailed making public appearances , being the centre of attention,  when you were shy and reserved.  A job that involved making speeches in front of thousands, and live broadcasts to millions, when you were inflicted by a terrible stutter.

The Kings Weaknesses

I‘m sure many of you have seen the Academy Award winning film, “The King’s Speech“. This depicts the story of how the future King George VI (who wasn’t “scheduled” to be King until his brother abdicated) received help so he could fulfil his royal duties. Even before he became King his role representing the Crown necessitated public appearances and speeches. [click to continue…]


Self Confidence more useful than Self Esteem?

The title of this post is similar to a recent one at Herald-Net, which appears to be an on-line newspaper in Washington, USA.  I’ve added the question mark! Their post has a sports focus, so its unsurprising that the argument is very much in favour of self confidence being the key factor.

self esteem

Who Cares about Self Esteem then?

The author James McCusker  states that coaches preparing teams for games know that the enemy isn’t the opposition, but a lack of self confidence. And, as  in other aspects of life, self confidence is frequently the key to success. He throws in a great quote:-

Automotive pioneer Henry Ford once said, “Whether you think you can or you think you can’t, you’re right.” That is what self-confidence is all about, the belief that you can do what needs to be done, that you can succeed.

Self Confidence not same as Self Esteem

Unfortunately people interchange “self confidence” and “self esteem” as if they are the same thing.  Mr McCusker gives a neat definition of the difference:-

“Self-confidence is built on achievement; self-esteem is built on opinion.”

If you have a good opinion about yourself, if you believe in your worth as a person, you generally have high self esteem.  If you depend on the opinions of others to feel good, then your self esteem has a very shaky foundation.

[click to continue…]