And the Self Esteem is Awarded to…

Self Esteem is Flowing in South America?

Congratulations to Rio de Janeiro on being selected to host the 2016 Olympics. it sounds as if the whole of Brazil, indeed the whole of South America has benefited. Asked what he thought the legacy of the Rio Games would be, the Governor of Rio State, Segio Cabral, said:-

“That they would have self-esteem. Self-esteem for the people of Brazil and the whole continent of South America.”

Wow!   So the International Olympic Committee has the power to bestow self esteem on a whole continent! I’m sure that will inflate their already huge egos even more.

Whilst there may have been a bit of British smugness and pleasure (we did beat  Paris after all!) when London was chosen to host 2012, I’m sure there was no collective rise in national self esteem. And, inevitably, there is now a great deal of  negativity about the impending Olympics.

"Self esteem is what I think and feel about myself and not what someone else thinks or feels about me."  ~ Nathaniel Branden 

So I’m sorry to doubt Governor Cabral, but I think he needs to look for his legacy elsewhere.

To have healthy self esteem its important to disassociate your opinion of you, your self image, from the opinions of others. So long as your self esteem is "externally" based, it will be at the mercy of any critical comment. What anyone thinks of you becomes a fact to absorb rather than left as what it is – their opinion.

"If rejection destroys your self-esteem, you’re letting others hold you as an emotional hostage." ~ Brian Tracy

Build Self Confidence through Swimming?

I’ve recently started swimming lessons – I can swim, but cannot "crawl" without gasping for breath after a few yards. Unsurprisingly the level of ability within the class is quite varied. None of us will be contenders for 2012, but a couple seem really good and in need of less instruction.

What surprised me was was how one lady I talked to was quite scared of being the class "dunce", being labelled as the one who was holding everyone back. My response to her was:- by paying money for someone to teach us to improve our skills, we’re saying "I need help here".  Why turn that positive step upside down and worry about someone elses opinion – especially when no-one had even expressed that view!

The teacher admitted on the first lesson to being under prepared and somewhat worse for wear (it was early Sunday morning!). She obviously wasn’t worried about creating a good impression or us having a good opinion of her!

Perhaps I should give my new swimming colleague a copy of my ebook, Self Esteem Exercises? Writing this has just reminded me, when I did a sponsored sea swim a couple of years ago, I finished last. I was still proud to have finished and it didn’t occur to me to think my achievement was any less than those in front.

Connect with Confidence

The buzz word given in the numerous article and books on how to succeed on sites like Twitter or Facebook, is to "connect", or build relationships. And rather than try to push some marketing message, build that relationship by seeing what you can do for the other person first.

Whether or not you use any of these sites, its worth reflecting on how you connect off-line.  When you answer the phone, do you just say "Hello" – or "Hello, this is David, how can I help you?" (assuming you are also called David!).

If meeting someone for the first time, do you shake their hand firmly and say "Hello, I’m David, pleased to meet you" or just smile weakly and avoid eye contact?

Get in the habit  of greeting the world with confidence. First impressions count, and if you give off an air of confidence from the outset it won’t do you any harm.

Photos by Kabatology,  Crucsou-Barus,  Santarosa on Flickr