And the Self Esteem is Awarded to…

Self Esteem is Flowing in South America?

self esteem in brazil

Congratulations to Rio de Janeiro on being selected to host the 2016 Olympics. it sounds as if the whole of Brazil, indeed the whole of South America has benefited. Asked what he thought the legacy of the Rio Games would be, the Governor of Rio State, Segio Cabral, said:-

“That they would have self-esteem. Self-esteem for the people of Brazil and the whole continent of South America.”

Wow!   So the International Olympic Committee has the power to bestow self esteem on a whole continent! I’m sure that will inflate their already huge egos even more.

Whilst there may have been a bit of British smugness and pleasure (we did beat  Paris after all!) when London was chosen to host 2012, I’m sure there was no collective rise in national self esteem. And, inevitably, there is now a great deal of  negativity about the impending Olympics.

"Self esteem is what I think and feel about myself and not what someone else thinks or feels about me."  ~ Nathaniel Branden 

So I’m sorry to doubt Governor Cabral, but I think he needs to look for his legacy elsewhere.

To have healthy self esteem its important to disassociate your opinion of you, your self image, from the opinions of others. So long as your self esteem is "externally" based, it will be at the mercy of any critical comment. What anyone thinks of you becomes a fact to absorb rather than left as what it is – their opinion.

"If rejection destroys your self-esteem, you’re letting others hold you as an emotional hostage." ~ Brian Tracy

Build Self Confidence through Swimming?

self confident brazilianI’ve recently started swimming lessons – I can swim, but cannot "crawl" without gasping for breath after a few yards. Unsurprisingly the level of ability within the class is quite varied. None of us will be contenders for 2012, but a couple seem really good and in need of less instruction.

What surprised me was was how one lady I talked to was quite scared of being the class "dunce", being labelled as the one who was holding everyone back. My response to her was:- by paying money for someone to teach us to improve our skills, we’re saying "I need help here".  Why turn that positive step upside down and worry about someone elses opinion – especially when no-one had even expressed that view!

The teacher admitted on the first lesson to being under prepared and somewhat worse for wear (it was early Sunday morning!). She obviously wasn’t worried about creating a good impression or us having a good opinion of her!

Perhaps I should give my new swimming colleague a copy of my ebook, Self Esteem Exercises? Writing this has just reminded me, when I did a sponsored sea swim a couple of years ago, I finished last. I was still proud to have finished and it didn’t occur to me to think my achievement was any less than those in front.

Connect with Confidence

The buzz word given in the numerous article and books on how to succeed on sites like Twitter or Facebook, is to "connect", or build relationships. And rather than try to push some marketing message, build that relationship by seeing what you can do for the other person first.

Whether or not you use any of these sites, its worth reflecting on how you connect off-line.  When you answer the phone, do you just say "Hello" – or "Hello, this is David, how can I help you?" (assuming you are also called David!).

If meeting someone for the first time, do you shake their hand firmly and say "Hello, I’m David, pleased to meet you" or just smile weakly and avoid eye contact?

Get in the habit  of greeting the world with confidence. First impressions count, and if you give off an air of confidence from the outset it won’t do you any harm.

Photos by KabatologyCrucsou-BarusSantarosa on Flickr

Find yourself with a smile... October 7, 2009 at 7:07 am

I don’t know, David… Any guy who would wear those speedos must have some level of self esteem… 🙂

It is interesting how we really handicap ourselves whenever we make the achievements of others the measure of our own.

Some people/accomplishments seem easy to outperform… while some seem impossible. These extremes can leave us either disinterested or depressed.

But no matter what, I can always do a little bit better than Ben did yesterday… and that’s what I plan to do.

When I remember that life is the riddle of self… and my ‘achievements’ are all grand or inconsequential based only on scale and perception… the easy confidence that comes from acceptance quickly returns.

keep smiling,

.-= Find yourself with a smile…´s last blog ..Ten Techniques for Fast Relaxation! =-.

David October 7, 2009 at 7:28 am

The speedos belong to a gal, Larissa Franca, who became more renown for the many photos of her bottom than her not inconsiderable skill at beach volleyball! If you google her name there are 150. 000 results for “laissa franca pics”!!!
So I’ve joined those who have never seen her perform her sport, but were attracted to a photo of her… At the end of the day, the photo made me smile, which is my excuse.
Thanks for you comment

Cheryl from thatgirlisfunny October 10, 2009 at 12:34 am

Hi David,
I love what you’re saying about self-esteem and how it rises and falls with the approval or disapproval of others. Like swimming, it’s something we have to practice every day to get good at – staying level – whether we feel like we’re winning or losing. It’s impossible to rely on people’s opinions. We’re so fickle. We change our minds at the drop of a hat. Something’s good today and then, not so good, tomorrow. Best to go through life as Ben says, just worrying about being a better Ben (you) each day.
.-= Cheryl from thatgirlisfunny´s last blog ..Administering The Eye Gouging Thumb Strike =-.

David October 10, 2009 at 8:23 am

Thanks Cheryl, although I would remove the word “worrying” from your last sentence. Try our best to improve, not give a %^&* about what others think, but at the end of the day – don’t worry!

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