Great Self Confidence – the basics

Sometimes we come across something that suddenly gives us the answer to several problems that had got the better of us. This morning I sat down to read “Karate in the Realm of Personal Development” by Priscilla Palmer. As a “premium” member of Personal Development Partners I had been able to download this for free, although it is relatively inexpensive via Priscilla’s site.

The first chapter on Confidence came up with some excellent points. The initial definition that confidence:-

“essentially narrows down to what we think and feel in regards to our self. These thoughts and feelings will determine our lives.”

As I was suggesting a week ago in confidence at work, when we are confident in our abilities, we become confident in ourselves. Priscilla remarks that some people believe that confidence is a gift, whilst she, like me, believes it is something we must work hard at and earn.

Taking part in forums I have been somewhat concerned that the prevailing attitude towards personal development has been rather along the lines of “wishful thinking will give you what you want” – rather than my own belief that personal development is about passion and skills development, which involves hard work. It was nice to realise that Priscilla’s whole book, using her experiences in martial arts to illustrate the the effort involved in personal development, follows a similar vein.

My favourite quote from her book is:-

“If we develop enough life tools to the level where we feel confident using them, then our result is true confidence.”

Her other advice is, as I suggest, getting back to basics:- being honest with ourselves, living by principles and developing social support, continuous development and physical health. Plus another point I have talked about before – acting confident when you don’t feel like it.

As well as confidence, there are several other chapters in the book which gives ideas and exercises to help any one’s personal development. I particularly like the chapter on concentration, as this is seldom given much space despite its importance. I recommend the book to anyone – and I speak as someone whose own passage through martial arts training in my teens and early twenties was anything but helpful!

I posted before about Bob Clubb’s Desiderata series. My post (and photo) “do not distress yourself with dark imaginings” appeared on his site yesterday, if you are interested. It ties in quite well with How to solve a problem.