Do you worry what others think about you? Are you afraid of looking a fool in public – of being a subject of ridicule? How self conscious are you? Would you stay inside rather than go out in scruffy, dirty clothes – or without make up?!
I have written before about how much looking good can help our confidence. If you look the part its easier to act it. But… Allowing our lives be dominated by what others think of us is of course something we should be avoid. However, its very easy to let this slip through – especially when we have established social codes of appearance that we adhere to as well.
I was recently taken with this story about a farmer, Rob Tavener, who practices tai chi in front of his herd of cows. He reckons that as animals are receptive to human moods, so the more relaxed and happy he is, the happier they are. And of course, the happier his cows are, the more milk they produce.
Image via WikipediaIn China everyone practices tai chi in public places. But in most western countries it’s a bit “odd”. What struck me about the story wasn’t whether or not tai chi had an indirect effect on Rob’s cows. It’s Rob being prepared to be photographed practicing tai chi – in his overalls and green wellies. Also his cows didn’t seem to co-operate by showing any interest in what he was doing!
By coincidence I have recently revised my “About this blog” page – and added another photograph of me. Not having a huge pool to draw on, I ended up editing a photo my wife took of me recently whilst out Geocaching. My edit involved cutting the green wellies out of my picture!
Rob doesn’t appear at all self conscious of looking a bit of a twit in many national newspapers. Would you? If he believes sufficiently in what he is doing, them he won’t give a toss if local farmers start laughing behind his back at whatever farmers gatherings they get up to.
I recently worked with a psychiatrist who dealt quite unconventionally with a patients anxiety, she was virtually agoraphobic and rarely left her house. He dressed both of them as clowns, drawing attention to them from the outset. If people stared at them – so what! It was also filmed for a national TV programme!
Its very easy to hide, to avoid putting our head above the parapet. A declaration of confidence in what you are doing is some sort of public declaration – like Rob. With that in mind I will now display myself – with green wellies!
I have to admit, I could use a little more confidence. But I am not afraid to go to class in my pajamas and with no make up on!
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I think that self-confidence is something that many people struggle with, and it’s often those who appear to have a lot of bravado who are the ones who don’t feel that sense of inner security.
Love the fact that Rob does his tai chi in front of his cows, how fun is that! 🙂
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Self-awareness is something that can be practiced. One needs meditation and daily mindfulness practices, like tai-chi.
But it is a tricky thing.
That animals react to our moods is a fact for me. I see it all the time with my dog. If I’m upset, she gets nervous.
Btw, you have a wonderful site here.
Olivier.
Remember Billy Crystal’s “It’s more important to look good than to feel good and you look Mah-velous”? Personally I like to look good and feel good, but if I have to choose, I’ll take feeling good. Confidence is very related to an internal locus of control. (Internals, who attribute events to their own control, and externals, who attribute events in their life to external circumstances. ) When you feel that you have control over your life and events – this is confidence.
Interesting topic, thanks, Tom (TRCoach)
Personal Development by TRCoach’s last blog post..Gratitude
A common tip for improving confidence is to look good. But then we are showing concern about what others think? If we have the confidence, as Jenna, says to go into class without make up and in pajamas are we showing true confidence?
I think many people agree that animals can sense our moods – but don’t forget, so can other people. So if we decide to be confident and act confident, thats what others will pick up.
David Rogers’s last blog post..Being good at what you do
It is interesting to think of activities that are acceptable to perform in public in some places, but you’d be too self conscious to do them in others. For example, praying in public would probably be thought of as “weird” in the US, but in other parts of the world it is normal and everyone else does it, too.
I am extremely self conscious! I do feel that in certain countries there is a lot less to be conscious of . In the US I feel like everyone if looking for someone to do “bizarre” things just so they can make fun of it.
yes im very selfcoscious just by walking down the street for some exercise i do worry how i look around people or what people are saying so i get nevours also i can’t make direct eye contact so when i walk i put my head sorta down not wanting to look people in the eye feeling shy and again very nevours i can’t stand when people stare at me or bascailly look at me because it makes me so nevours so yes i would say that im a very very selfcoscious person thats just how i am
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