Stop feeling sorry for yourself

Stephen Fry is always entertaining (to me anyway!) and usually gives interesting reflections on life:- 

This video has now been withdrawn from YouTube – copyright problems with the BBC!

You could have see it on You Tube My recent posts have highlighted the less than perfect starts of people who went on to great success in their chosen fields. Despite an affluent background, Stephen Fry described his teenage years as having a "tendency to lie, cheat and steal". So much so that at 18 he was sent to prison for 3 months for credit card fraud! 

He recovered from this setback to get to Cambridge University, where, apart from academic success, he started his long running comedy partnership with Hugh Laurie. They first appeared on stage together in 1980 at the Edinburgh Festival, along with future actress and Oscar winning writer Emma Thompson.  

In recent years he has been very open about his bipolar mental illness (or manic depression), to which he attributes his wild mood swings. In 1995 he walked out of a play at the beginning of its West End (London) run and vanished.  

After many lurid front page headlines, he turned up in Belgium having contemplating suicide as a way out of his depression. This is a very potted history of a very interesting, talented person. I include it simply to show that whatever talents or gifts Stephen may have been born with, going to prison when you’re 18 isn’t usually a precursor to a glittering career!  

And having met many people with bipolar mental illness over my years in psychiatry, those of us who aren’t prone to extremes of mood we have little control over have even less reason to feel sorry for ourselves. Do you agree with Stephen? Is self pity a worse deadly sin such as envy? Do you find yourself prone to ruminating about your misfortunes and what is lacking in your life? 

As I have said before, apart from hacking off others, you will only feed your negative thoughts and perpetuate your lack of "whatever".

Lim Ee Hai January 22, 2008 at 4:42 pm

There are times when we felt down and useless. It is the time when we are sorry for ourself. But if we can stay alert to our thoughts, we may be able to realise that laugh it off. Laughing cheers us up and slowly make our thought goes “bright”. Do not be sorry if nothing sinful has been done. Life is short. Why not make the best out of it, and feel great? We have a choice! Happy tomorrow. Cheers!

Lim Ee Hai’s last blog post..Using Trigonometry To Create Pictures

Lim Ee Hai November 13, 2011 at 3:40 pm

To add on to my comments, be fair to yourself. Everyone has done some good deeds one day or another. Though we may, at times, feel sorry for ourself, we should know that we have done many outstanding things before. It may not be related to money, it may not be related to academic results, but it may be holding the hand of an old lady trying to cross a busy road. Or it may simply be a smile to someone in the bus or on the street. This smile of yours may have brightened up someone’s day. If you want to feel sorry for yourself, go ahead. But do not dwell too long in it. Let the past go, and strive forward for a better future. Time will cure the hurt. Cheer up!

suzanne barton January 26, 2008 at 12:01 am

I feel sorry for myself because I dont know if I will ever find a man who loves me

Bloofs October 9, 2008 at 3:31 am

The problem with trying too hard not to feel sorry for yourself is that you can make yourself worse – if you want to feel sorry for yourself for a while, fine. It can even be cathartic. The problem is making a habit of it.

Diane January 9, 2009 at 12:19 pm

I think the real problem is when we begin to wallow in self-pity and harbour negative thoughts. We begin to feel sorry for everything negative in our lives, even the things we cannot change or control. As a result, it begins to weigh us down, and we carry it around with us day after day. It is a bottomless pit. The real trick to self-pity is being aware of ur thoughts, and changing the bad ones into positive affirmations.

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