One of my favourite posts is How to Develop Will Power. As I say within it, will power is a somewhat overlooked characteristic within personal development writing. Its something we generally perceive as “difficult” or something we don’t possess.
We can all conjure up times we’ve given into temptation (and had that cake) or apathy (didn’t go to the gym) – in other words been weak willed. And its very easy to fall into black and white thinking, mentally beat ourselves up, and use those slip ups as irrefutable evidence that we don’t have will power.
My reasons for bring this up again are twofold.
1) As the earlier post discusses, will power (or mental strength, however you want to re-frame it) is a useful character trait to develop as part of building self confidence.
2) It links in well with a new theme I’ve recently added to this blog – finding fulfilment. And a big part of feeling fulfilled, is getting in the habit of doing – pursuing the occupations that give us satisfaction.
Find Your Passion
Its been said by many that the key to success and fulfilment is to pursue your passion. And if you do what you love, follow this passion, then its “not work”. If you do what brings you great pleasure, then life is one long vacation.
Mmm, perhaps. Let me quote Nate St Pierre posting on the excellent Escaping Mediocrity blog:
The truth of the matter is that, no matter what all the folks who are “internet famous” will tell you, passion is not profitable. You can work as hard and long as you want at something you love, but unless it’s something that people are willing to pay for, you’re not going to make any money at it. And even if they are willing to pay for it, you have to have a fair amount of business sense to make it profitable enough to turn it into a full-time job.
The other problem with trying to pursue your passions, is that most things we do have “boring bits”. The actual bit we enjoy may be surrounded by monotony.
- Think of film actors, repeating numerous “takes” or hanging around for their scene. Or being endlessly asked the same questions by a succession of journalists in a stuffy hotel room.
- Musicians, spending hours on the road and living out of suitcases for the thrill of a couple of hours on stage.
- Sportsman and women, spending many, many hours training and perfecting their skills.
The people above are those many of us envy, wish we could be in their shoes. We see the glamour, the adulation, the money – but seldom see the effort and associated boredom.
What is Fulfilment
A good definition of fulfilment is
a feeling of pleasure because you are getting what you want from life.”
Why don’t we spend more time pursuing our passions then. If you separate earning a living from the equation for the moment, most people still have many hours a week when we could pursue passions, or any other interests.
Sadly most people try to find fulfilment through instant pleasure. We overeat, drink alcohol, use every labour saving devise available to try and get that feel good factor. We slump in front of television sets, passively being “entertained”. And above all else, we avoid possible discomfort.
Fulfilment involves effort. Commitment. And even a smidgen of will power. As we get older its easy to let hobbies and interests slip by. We take the line of least resistance. Whatever passion that once drove us to pursue a particular activity is lost.
Photo365
To reverse this trend we need to set ourselves projects (lets get away from talk of goals for the moment!). Find a way of rekindling that excitement.
Let me give you an example. If asked about hobbies and interests I always list photography, which I have enjoyed since my teens. However, the extent to which I have actively pursued this hobby has varied. My camera started to get dusted off to take snaps of the children or capture our holidays.
Since the start of January I have taken part in a “photograph a day” project. I’ve uploaded my efforts onto Flickr, where there is a Project365 group, where hundreds of others are doing the same thing.
Now it sounds pretty simple, and it is. But making myself take that photo each day has been quite challenging. I’ve carried my camera virtually everywhere when not at work (hospital – not allowed). And I’m constantly on the look out for photo opportunities – I’ve found my enthusiasm has been recharged.
Now this hasn’t transformed me into a great photographer – some of my results are still pretty naff. But it has got me taking photographs – non of the photos on this page would have been taken if I hadn’t taken on this project.
So look at ways of stepping out of your comfort zone, which needn’t be a big stretch. Create projects that will get you challenging yourself, improving a skill, looking at things in a different way. Shake off that staleness, rekindle a bit of passion. Who knows, you may enjoy it!
Hi David,
Whilst you’re asleep, I’m watching the opening ceremonies of the Vancouver Olympics and reading your blog post at the same time. I love the new banner! It shifts the mood on the page. I quite like it. I like the way the ebook captures my attention because I want to see what’s coming next when it flips over lol! I’m easily entertained.
You’ve made many interesting points. I’ll comment on your photography project. What a brilliant idea to keep you focused on participating in something that you say you love, but didn’t make a priority in your life. The pink photo is gorgeous! Did you take the photo of those farm animals? Oh my goodness. I would be at a loss for words if ever faced with that situation. And coming from me, that’s saying a lot. ;D
Look what would have been missed if you hadn’t structured this project into your life. Putting pictures into Flickr every day keeps you honest because other people come to expect it. Sorta like our group, I suppose.
.-= Cheryl from thatgirlisfunny´s last blog ..sharing chocolate covered strawberries on Valentine’s Day: juicy, sweet and delicious =-.
Your point about instant pleasure really resonates with me. Trying to teach young men and boys in today’s culture that they have to put forth effort in order to get reward is a mighty difficult task. I will take this post as encouragement that my dogged insistence that their efforts are worthwhile is taking us in the right direction…even if it means dragging concrete blocks through brick walls underwater.
.-= Amy LeForge´s last blog ..FFYF: Tough Guy Edition =-.
The Journey always starts with the self. Great post on confidence and self esteem, and feeling fulfilled. I just started my journey to change my life with much of this stuff.
Thanks for another resource to check regularly.
Larry
.-= The Niche Think Tank´s last blog ..The Magic of Thinking Big by David Schwartz – Book Review =-.
What you wrote about passion is spot on (and that link to Nate’s blog is great too). There is lot of “make money through your passion” going on, and while I think it is extremely fulfilling to earn a living doing the things you are passionate about, that doesn’t mean it will all be smooth ride…
I liked the examples you gave (musicians, actors, etc.), since if you are truly passionate about something, will train, study and test things endlessly, and you love it. I know I do when it comes to tech, online stuff and games.
There will always be stuff you don’t like that much (even if you outsource the “boring bits” of your business for example), and for me, the that’s part of the experience (doing stuff!).
p.s. that photo is awesome, love the colors!
.-= Antti Kokkonen´s last blog ..How to Monetize a Blog in an Unprofitable Niche? [Q&A] =-.
Approx 17 years ago, the IT Director of the corporate company I was working for, sent everyone on a course called, “Investment In Excellence”. Not a particularly inspiring title but we were asked to attend in groups of 20 or so.
The first group attended and returned. The rest of us wanted to know how it went. They said they couldn’t tell us anything, as they were sworn to secrecy.
They also said the title didn’t ‘do the course justice’.
We saw the staff members who had attended the course were really excited. Really happy. Really positive.
The next group attended. They came back the same.
I was in the third group.
The course was simply outstanding. It was with a guy called Lou Tice.
Lou Tice’s course changed my life.
Why?
He introduced me to ‘Comfort Zones’ and widening them.
Since those days if I want to try something new – I give it a go. Deciding to leave the Corporate world, after 30 years, and staring my own on-line business was a huge comfort zone thing for me.
Organizing and running my first teleconference a few weeks ago (with ‘strangers’ from across the world), was another stretching of the comfort zone.
One thing I have found by trying new things…they are no-where near as hard as what your mind thinks they will be.
Bournemouth! I live in Worthing – just down the road. Stayed in Bournemouth for a weekend a couple of years ago. Nice place – really enjoyed it.
Andrew
.-= Andrew @ Blogging Guide´s last blog ..The Pros and Cons of Social Bookmarking =-.
Cheryl
Thanks for the compliments. The farm animals were at a small local museum where we had gone for brunch one Sunday. The old tractor with the goats was situated next to the children’s play area so I wandered over to have a look whilst waiting for food. But as I said, normally I’d have remained seated (and incurious) and had to talk to my wife!!!
David
Amy
I have three daughters, aged 18, 18 and 22, and girls can be just a struggle. Its interesting when children are younger we spend many hours taking them to this activity or that – you get masses of parents watching them. Its a joy when they do sustain the activity; but I often wondered then how many parents were still pursuing their own passions? Thanks for your comment.
David
Larry
Thanks for the comment. Its like the aircraft safety routine – you need to sort yourself out before helping others. That’s not about being selfish, and I certainly don’t advocate a total internal focus, but just clarifying what your needs are and which direction your heading.
David
Antti
Yes, we tend to forget (or never even consider) how much effort successful people put into their occupation. And I’m sure your inbox gets as full as mine with offers to make money, where the emphasis is on quick and the lack of effort needed! Thanks for the compliment and interesting reflection.
David
Hi David,
what a great post and oh so true! Finding something you can do with passion enriches your life so much. I for myself love to write and somehow I don’t feel time when I write my blog posts or prepare things for them (oh, already 10 pm again?? 😉 )
My personal experience is that yes, every thing has two sides, but you can more easily accept the hard work when you create something so I am very close to your passion of photography. Seeing that you have created something that lasts, that stays, that inspires others is a wonderful feeling and always makes me smile.
Btw, I have not been so far away from you last year as I have been in the Basingstoke area for some weeks in a project. Love your country so much although it took some time until I got used to driving on the “wrong” side of the street *ggg* 😉
Phil
.-= Phil´s last blog ..Purpose of a good dashboard and an announcement =-.
Andrew
I think such courses were in vogue around then (was it a knock on effect of Tom Peters) and I remember our Chief Exec getting all the staff to on on one. Unfortunately working for the NHS, in the early days of introducing market economics, whatever message “TJ” (I know he was American with initials which didn’t help either!) was trying to put across got drowned in a sea of cynicism. All I can recall is the Chief Exec removed his “reserved” parking sign, as if….
But I’m glad it helped you! This issue of stretching comfort zones is something I’ve written about on a few occasions as it is central to both confidence (and self esteem) building as well as finding fulfilment.
Never been to Worthing; I personally love living on the coast and will hopefully live the rest of my days in the Bournemouth area – I’m not going to stretch myself my moving inland! Thanks for commenting
David
Phil
I recently got lost in Basingstoke trying to find the rail station, not a very inspiring experience! I hope you got to see some of the nicer parts of England as you drove around on the left!
That’s a great point about passion enriching your life. Thanks for that and your great reflection on my post.
David
David,
Writing about what you are passionate about makes everything come together so nicely. Seems all good things follow because people that read your work realize that first you know your topic and secondly that you are passionate about it.
Excellent advice. Oh, and your new header is very smart indeed. Confidence breeds success. Nice blog.
All the best
Rich Hill
.-= Rich Hill´s last blog ..Give it Up for Google =-.
Rich thanks for your kind words. I think my header is a bit more professional than the previous ones – so should make me feel more confident as well!
David, As a ‘self proclaimed’ life purpose expert, I’m always asked how we can make our living doing what we love – and with further examination – that’s not always what we really want to do – We don’t want to really be professional ballet dancers, or professional photographers – the lifestyle doesn’t match what we really want -and I often advise to love what you do – love your life, find the reasons you went into your current profession. Some people of course end up changing jobs, and others dive more deeply into their hobby. It is the self exploration with eyes wide open that is useful. My guess is that taking a photo each day will enrich your life, help you stay passionate in other areas of your life, and make your work more joyful.
.-= Michelle Vandepas´s last blog ..Peggie Arvidson – Awaken Your Soul – Hand Analyst =-.
Michelle
I love your statement “self exploration with eyes wide open” as strengths and weaknesses, passions and put-offs emerge through doing. Yes, photography was just an example but its a way of kick-starting a more creative and inquisitive approach to all things.
David
Fulfillment to me is about appreciating every moment…
Dear David –
I don’t know if I have passion or OCD but if I don’t have a project in the pipe, I am not happy. I always think the most exciting thing is right around the corner.
And once I am done, I don’t usually go back. At least, much.
I have been a real estate broker, a builder, travel agency owner and a national talk show host.
I still sell real estate (not recently) but the client has to fall in my lap.
I still sell some travel but don’t bother me unless it is a complicated and interesting trip. Please don’t come to me for Las Vegas.
Being on TV looks glamorous – but let me tell you it is not easy. People are always changing things – someone cancels at the last minute or misses a plane or gets a better offer (like Oprah -you will get dumped in a minute) and you are scrambling to fill the slot.
I had five guests booked for September 12! You don’t have to ask how that went.
The interviewing part I loved. The producing is hard.
Now I prefer to be a media coach and teach someone else how to do it. I am a pretty good teacher. I already made all the mistakes.
So there are, as you say, David, “boring bits” to any passion.
Blogging still holds my interest because I have so much to learn. I can do the writing – but without Michelle Vandepas the super tech I would be in some deep trouble. She is in the process of teaching me to video blog. I am looking forward to that.
So you can count on my hanging around to annoy you for a while.
I guess passion comes down to the old saying of “having a a reason to get up in the morning.”
You have a beautiful talent for photography. Hope to see more of it.
.-= Corinne Edwards´s last blog ..SECOND HAND ROSES – The Junktiquing Road – Dawn Edwards =-.
Corinne
Thanks for your kind words and I guess you’ve hit the nail on the head with
“I guess passion comes down to the old saying of “having a a reason to get up in the morning.””
I for one will look forward to your video blogs (I’m sure there’s a fancy term for them), but keep writing (and commenting) as well.
David
Nice post David, it’s given me plenty of food for though. Even yesterday I was watching a TV show thinking how long must it have taken to get that one shot and how boring it must have been for the actors waiting around. I really (really) enjoy what I do but there of course is monotony of doing the same thing over and over again. Moving out of my comfort zone, like Andrew says, has been a big one this year (with his help actually) and trying new “scary” things that you suddenly realize you enjoy immensely has been a wonderful thing.
Love your photos by the way!
.-= Joel´s last blog ..Why You Should Leave Blog Comments =-.
Thanks for your compliments. Yes, this comfort zone issue hangs large. The sad thing is, so few people realise that this is what hems them in – we have the advantage of choosing…
Yes, great point. The choice is sometimes a very difficult one and often pretty scary!
.-= Joel´s last blog ..Why You Should Leave Blog Comments =-.
David,
Every time I read one of your posts I am awed. I am also proud I can say I have know you for a while and am not new to your writing.
I agree that passion is great but I believe it comes and goes and that may be the boredom part. I try to look at it like I did as a farm boy. Grew up in Pennsylvania and March was prep time for the ground and at the months end, often still cold and windy and overcast, we planted grain. It was boring, heavy, cold work. Later we harvested it and hay and fed it to our cattle. Every fall I sold my cattle and was always happy when I could deposit the funds and use them for clothes and a few things I wanted and a few new calves to produce next years funds.
I have worked in emergency medicine for many years and enjoy the rush sometimes but people who say that must be exciting don’t know about the elderly people from nursing homes who arrive with fever and abdominal pain at 2AM only to find they had bad constipation often caused by being on too many medications. Not exciting or glamorous but helpful to them. those impressed laymen forget how many holidays I spent there and how many 12 hour nights.
It is all about preparation and planting and then harvesting. The harvest is great, but there is none without preparing the ground and planting. Those cattle needed a 7 day a week commitment too.
I appreciate your insights and confirmations in words of things that rattle around inside me but are never expressed. Great post and many very good comments. Great audience you have.
.-= Bruce “the Mid-Life Mentor”´s last blog ..Why am I gaining weight during Menopause? =-.
Thanks Bruce for your compliments and insightful comment. I like the reflection on the preparation and planting that precedes a harvest.
Another way to look at the boredom part is that you can still create challenges, however monotonous a job. This is at the heart of Flow, by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, one of my favourite books.
David
That one quote about fulfillment does seem to sum it up, “a feeling of pleasure because you are getting what you want from life.” Pursuing your passions sounds good on the surface, but you might be passionate about something few other people in the world care about, so how would you make a living at it? You’re so right few things are 100% fun. There’s a down side to just about anything, boring, tedious, needs-to-be-done before getting to the good stuff.
But you do need to stay passionate about something, and hobbies are a good outlet. You have some great photos here, but I have just one complaint. I was looking forward to seeing a bigger photo when I clicked on them, and they’re just the same size!!! come on, link to a bigger photo that fills up the screen so people can enjoy those pictures even more!!!!
.-= Teagan´s last blog ..Happy Birthday Frances Moore Lappé =-.
Teagan
Thanks for the comment and compliments. If you want to see the photos bigger – or even download them! – if you click on either the “Flickr” or “my results” links within the posts. That should come up with my Flickr page with all 40 or so photos taken so far – including the 3 above. if you click on the thumbnail you can see the photos in various sizes.
Flickr is a great site to share photos – and get free photos for your blog if you go via the Creative Commons link.
David
Great post David. My older brother like taking photos. He did turn it into a business for 25 years. When he started it, there was much more to it, like developing your own photo’s. Anyway he did make a living of it and enjoyed it very much.
As for me You might say when my kids were little my passion was raising them. I loved every minute of it and now it is helping me with a passion for writting and creating my happy website. I have always been real good with number and enjoyed working with them when I was in the corporate world, but when it was time to go home, I was ready and gone.
Yes, building my website and blog is lots of work and it has gotten me out of my comfort zone, but I prefer calling that comfort zone a growing ground. There are things about it that aren’t fun, but when I keep moving on I shall find the joy at the end.
In all I believe the answer to fulfillment is if you enjoy doing something and have a talent for it, just keep at it and you will find the fulfillment. Quitters never find fulfilllment, because they give up.
Debbie
.-= Debbie´s last blog ..HOW TO EMPOWER YOURSELF WITH HAPPINESS =-.
Debbie
I hoped someone would mention blogging and writing in this context. In many ways this blog has been something that has pushed me out of my comfort zone, stretched me, at times caused me frustration but ultimately great satisfaction. I’m sure most bloggers can empathise with that!
Thanks for your comment
David
My version of fulfillment is earning a living doing what I am passionate about.
.-= Birney Summers´s last blog ..How to Save Money by Saving Energy at Work =-.
Birney
Its very clear from your blog how passionate you are, and how that has driven you at different times (and difficult times). Some find it more difficult either to find their passions or clarify where they need to direct their energies. Thanks for commenting
David
Hi David:
Interesting post! I am next going to read your post on will power. I need to develop stronger will power.
I often wonder what my life would be like if I had a job that I loved, and was totally fulfilling. I have a “good” day job that affords my family a comfortable life and security, and at times it is challenging and interesting, but it’s not my dream job.
I do own a small accessories business with two friends, and that is my passion (well, one of them!). I always dreamed of expanding that business and making it a huge success, but I’ll have to get out of my “comfort zone” to do that. Something to think about while I count beans!
.-= Lisa´s last blog ..Challenge Card — Splitcoast 267 =-.
Lisa
We cannot all have a job we “love”, but all should be able to make our job challenging and stimulating. I would never advocate abandoning a job in the hope that a passion may become a sustainable income. Sometimes turning a passion into an income stream can kill off the passion…
I just feel that if something isn’t right in our life, the best way to find out what needs to change is to up your game in the different areas that occupy your time. Thanks for commenting
David
Finding your passion is really key here because the reality is it’s will be the driving force that will help you move (or should I say keep moving) forward when things are difficult.
I do agree that the boredom of repetition when it comes to mastering you craft can have a lot quit and people who have succeed to pursue this (boredom of repetition) as part of the journey.
This is a great post!
Krizia
.-= Eat Smart Age Smart ´s last blog ..Foods experts NEVER eat =-.
Krizia
Thanks for your comment and reflections. The problem with a repetitive activity is we don’t have the ability to apply ourselves to a task for long periods – our skill of concentration has been diluted. Even if we are passionate, for some the effects of boredom or poor concentration can make them easily discouraged.
That’s why I feel getting in the habit of setting yourself challenges, doing things whether you’re in the mood or not, can be really useful.
David
Lovely post, David…
I think we should all tattoo the last paragraph to the inside of our eyelids!
“So look at ways of stepping out of your comfort zone, which needn’t be a big stretch. Create projects that will get you challenging yourself, improving a skill, looking at things in a different way. Shake off that staleness, rekindle a bit of passion. Who knows, you may enjoy it!”
It has been said that the most magnificent experiences in life are 5 inches beyond your comfort zone… each time we go beyond our comfort zone, we expand our range of experience and our capacity for enjoyment. And it only takes a little bit.
Of course, tattoos on the inside of our eyelids might be expanding our range of experience a bit too far… 😉
keep smiling,
Ben
.-= Benjamin´s last blog ..Focus & Flow =-.
Ben
Thanks for the great comment and compliments. Interestingly that final paragraph was a bit of an add on just before I posted – by pushing myself and working harder at getting the post right, out popped a paragraph I’m also quite pleased with. So as I said to Debbie above, writing a blog also gets you stepping outside that comfort zone.
David
Hi David,
Nice to know you’ve been into photography. That’s one of my passions although haven’t put that in the high level yet as I’ve been busy prioritizing few other things in business which I’m happy with as well. Good cheese of smiles for good photographs! I do believe that anything that you do for passion will be successfully reached as long as you take action in it and with what you’ve done, I would like to congratulate you for surviving your camera into the light again. 🙂
Tyrone
I think we always have other things to prioritise over things we enjoy. Its just a case of getting the balance right – which isn’t always easy. Thanks for your comment.
David
“Everything you want out of life is right outside your comfort zone.” That quote’s been attributed to plenty of people (including Jennifer Aniston!), but it doesn’t really matter who first said it. I remember it, and believe it.
Thanks for the great article,. David!
Jeff
I now know how you step outside your comfort zone – you go to McDonalds and have a Big Mac Snack Wrap! Thanks for your comment.
This is going to sound strange, but I’ve always found gardening to be somewhat complicated. I never had a passion for it, so I never really did it. So, when I would imagine gardening, I would get overwhelmed with the “hows.”
Well, this weekend I decided to overcome my anxiety and get out in my front yard. I’m in the middle of completely transforming it and I’m really enjoying it! A sense of passion is beginning to take shape, which is carrying me through the painful or boring parts.
All of a sudden, it doesn’t seem so complicated anymore. I just had to get my hands dirty and do something with it – and I’m loving it!
It didn’t take someone teaching me how or me reading a million books on what I need to do – it just took me DOING it – inexperience and all!
This new project has created a passion I never had before and I feel a strong sense of fulfillment! Thanks for the great article – perfect timing with my personal adventure :).
.-= Keller Hawthorne´s last blog ..PODCAST: Let’s Talk About Ecommerce – Q&A with Keller =-.
Keller
As someone who has lots of gardening books, but seldom gardens (and once bought his wife a lawnmower for her birthday!), I can understand the appeal of gardening but it has never bitten me. But this is a great example of engaging in an activity and getting satisfaction from it. It is so easy to stay detached and passive and watch the world go by. Thanks for your reflection.
David
Oh, one more thing – BEAUTIFUL photograph!
.-= Keller Hawthorne´s last blog ..Blog Review: WhataWebsite.org – Blog Promotion 101 =-.
Thanks
Hi David, WOW! I haven’t been by for awhile, you’ve really spiffed things up! Looks terrific and I can’t wait to look at your articles, they ALL look interesting!
I’ve been coming to a lot of the same conclusions myself this year. Basically looking more closely at the things that are within my control and working on using self discipline to focus on them. Those things seem to be the ones that bring me the most joy and ironically the things I seem to neglect first.
Your pictures are great, the ones you included in your post really look nice too.
I liked what you wrote here…
My reasons for bring this up again are twofold.
1) As the earlier post discusses, will power (or mental strength, however you want to re-frame it) is a useful character trait to develop as part of building self confidence.
2) It links in well with a new theme I’ve recently added to this blog – finding fulfillment. And a big part of feeling fulfilled, is getting in the habit of doing – pursuing the occupations that give us satisfaction.
I couldn’t agree more!
.-= Jan-queenofkaos´s last blog ..Learning to Let Go – Part One =-.
Jan
Thanks for your compliments and reflections. Self discipline is easily neglected and in this modern world we have more and more things to distract us. I write this having just returned from the cinema having seen Avatar. In a darkened auditorium, unable to move from your seat, you focus on the film. However good a film is, if you watch it on the TV at home, your mind gets distracted by the environment around you.
My attention was held so much, it was only afterwards I kept thinking of Pocahontas!
David
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