Following on from my series on saying no, I last gave a definition of assertiveness, and mentioned the three other behavioral types - passive, aggressive and manipulative. When we think of unassertive behavior, we tend to focus on passive.
Passive behavior is acting in a way that does not meet our needs - saying “yes” to a request when we wish to say “no”, or staying silent when we have a request to make ourselves. We strive to please others, but neglect our own needs.
Passive behavior is driven by passive thinking - “I mustn’t rock the boat”, “I’m not important”, “nothing goes right for me”. Whilst outwardly submissive, indecisive and helpless, inside there may well be inner conflict, tension and stress as the inability to meet our own needs fuels feelings of frustration and anger.
I will focus on the other types of “non assertive” behavior over the next few weeks, as well as ways of making changes.
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