Great Self Confidence

...to live the life you want

Achieving goals with support

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goalGoal setting should be like using a GPS (global positioning system) – you type in a destination, at every junction (or whenever there is uncertainty) you are told which way to go. If only!

As I said in Why haven’t you set goals?, just deciding on a destination is difficult enough. Most of us “drive” our lives without a clear destination, perhaps using a map for guidance, stopping off (or veering off) whenever something catches our attention. Or turn up at the airport (of life) and ask for a ticket to “anywhere” – or use vague destinations, like asking for a ticket to “Europe” or “America”.

The nearest comparable to using a GPS is having someone coach you. Coaching helps an individual, or organization, get to where they want to be. A coach will help you clarify and set goals, then keep yourself on track to achieve them. A coach, in the true definition of coaching, is not there to give advice or make suggestions. [Read more…]

Why haven’t you set goals?

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In my post Do you have a dream? I admitted that whilst believing goals are necessary for most of my adult life, I’ve been pretty poor at setting and using them. In one of my favourite books, A Touch of Greatness, Frank Tibolt describes goal setting as “the greatest of all success techniques“, but used by less than 10% of the population.

So why don’t people set goals:-

Not heard of them
Think they don’t need them
Want to live for the day
Think goals are stressful
Think it’s only for high fliers
Uninspired
No vision
Fear of failure
Don’t recognize the value
Not know how
Fear of success
Don’t feel worthy
Too busy
Don’t want to be answerable to anyone
Don’t know the benefit of goals
Need others approval

I think the main reasons can be summarized as “don’t know”. [Read more…]

Does Attitude Count more than Ability?

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Last week I received an email announcing the relaunch of Success magazine. As the email was unsolicited – and technically spam – it didn’t seem a particularly auspicious way to relaunch a magazine! But it did lead me to dig out my old copy of Success, which I purchased in Chicago on my only visit (to date) to the USA – in February 1982.

Its a long story as to why I was in Chicago in winter, and I’m not really sure why my magazine has survived 26 years (and that I could find it!). Ironically 1982 was the least successful year of my life as I spent most of it unemployed and lacking confidence in myself. I had yet to learn that reading self development material isn’t enough – you have to take action..

Reading any old publication gives a fascinating insight into how far some things have changed. There is a feature on a new form of dancing called “aerobics”, an advert using John DeLorean to promote a brand of whiskey and the cover feature/main interview is Johnny Carson (“shy and introverted as a youngster”). The other big interview is Brent Musburger, who I gather is still around today.

In many other respects, the magazine is remarkably undated. [Read more…]

Reflections on 2007

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Today is the last day of 2007. Many people are busy setting New Years Resolutions like “I will lose 20lbs”, “I will stop smoking”, “I will go to the gym twice a week”. The sort of resolutions/targets/goals – whatever you want to call them – that have often fizzled out by the end of January.

Two posts I wrote recently (Do you have passion or desire?, are goals necessary?) have highlighted my uncertainties about goal setting. Its something I have been studying – partly because I have seldom got it right myself. I’ll come back to this in the next posts. But there are two things I have always got right.

One, January 1st isn’t the only day you can start new goals. In many ways its a poor day. Many set goals, like those above, based on consuming less – be it food, smoke, alcohol, money. This reflects a holiday season of excess rather than any real motivation to change.

[Read more…]

Do you have Passion or Desire?

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Over the last couple of weeks, it was impossible to listen to a news bulletin without hearing the phrase “road map” – often accompanied with the Talking Heads “Road to Nowhere”! The politicians then emerged with the “Bali Road Map” – basically agreeing to continue discussions for a further two years.

Politicians seem to like their Road Maps. Personally I have always like maps, and would go as far as saying I am very good at reading them. The difference is that politicians seem to use maps to describe plans (however vague), rather than something that basically shows all the possible places we can go.

As we head for a new year, many see it essential to start looking at new goals, “resolutions”, perhaps their own road map. I did raise the question a few weeks ago, are goals necessary? There was an excellent post by Michael Martine recently I have big hot burning desires, in which he dissected all the traditional arguments in favour of goal setting. As the title suggests, he feels burning desire is the driving force behind any achievement. My own philosophy uses the passion in a similar way. [Read more…]