Great Self Confidence

...to live the life you want

Fear is the Key

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I started writing this post about a week ago. My theme of fear isn’t that original, but constantly recurring in our thoughts. Since starting writing, two things have happened to me that have reinforced the stupidity of most of our fears.


Without going into the gory details, I had a biopsy last Tuesday for possible prostate cancer. I’ve had one before, and its precautionary rather than done with great expectation of having cancer. But the mere act of going through a very invasive procedure, and confronting the possibility of a life threatening disease does heighten your awareness of the fragility of life.

14 hours after undergoing the biopsy, my daughter informed us that our car was on fire. So at 4.15am, about 5 hours since last used, we waited for the fire brigade to arrive. This brief clip now on YouTube (where else!)  shows the demise of “Ethel”. [Read more…]

Give yourself an Oscar

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reese1It’s the season for award ceremonies – particularly in the world of entertainment.  We’ve just had the Grammies and Bafta, not to mention SAG, Golden Globes, Emmys… the list is endless.   Tonight things reach a climax with the 81st Academy Awards, the Oscars.

Other industries do have awards, although there isn’t such a song and dance made about them. Good companies also have staff recognition schemes, where individuals or groups/teams have awards for “going the extra mile”. This normally would imply some achievement or additional effort that takes them beyond their basic job description.  Or benefits the organisation in some way in the eyes of its customers. [Read more…]

When New Year Resolutions Break Down

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I have reflected before on the strange phenomenon of new year resolutions. The majority of people never use goal setting for most of the year. But come 1st January they set themselves unrealistic goals, masquerading as resolutions. Sometime later in January they absentmindedly eat a cake or smoke a cigarette and find they’ve broken their resolution – and return to their pre January habits.

The statistic about resolutions are pretty bleak, quoted in The Happiness Project:-

According to one survey, the top three resolutions made by Americans in 2009 are:
1. Losing weight — 20%
2. Quitting smoking — 16%
3. Spending less — 12%
—About 80% of people who make resolutions stop keeping them by mid-February.
—Two-thirds of dieters gain back any lost weight within a year.
—Many people make and break the same resolution year after year.

Part of me feels I should be encouraging new year’s resolutions – after all I’ve created this blog and written thousands of words on making positive changes. A resolution is a statement of intent to make change. The explosion of “goal setting” around January should be welcomed as a sign that people want to make changes in their life, they’re perhaps just going about it the wrong way. So why does it go wrong – and why is a well intentioned, goal setting activity, seen as a bit of a joke?

[Read more…]

Build Self Esteem with Affirmations

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1989 3.2 litre Ferrari 328 GTS Targa at a car ...

An affirmation is a positive self talk statement. They are usually goal based – such as tangible things (to earn $xxxx a year, to drive a Ferrari) – where you can clearly say yes or no whether they have been achieved. But affirmations can also cover personal qualities – such as “I am a great communicator”.

An affirmation should be stated in the present tense – “I am a positive person”, “I earn $200,000 a year”,” I have great self confidence”. The logic behind affirmations is that giving yourself positive messages, the mind starts believing it to be so. This is exactly the same principle as how negative thinking undermines us – being told repeatedly “you’re useless”, we believe it to be true.

I use affirmations. I  believe they are a useful tool in the battle for healthy self esteem. My starting point is that positive affirmations are healing, positive scripts you give to yourself to counter your negative inner voice. They can help you free yourself from the over dependence you have on other people’s opinions, attitudes, or feelings about you and help you feel good about yourself.

Every one of us has some kind of internal dialog, or self talk, going on most of the day. We have two voices, one positive and one negative. The positive one is the one that is supportive of all your ideas, beliefs in what you do and always expects the good in other people. The negative one is the whiner who always tries to put you and the rest of the world down, has no belief in what is possible and makes you feel doubtful and frustrated. [Read more…]

Who are you?

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Not just a great Who song, but a pretty good question to ask yourself. Are you a high flier? Or are you cruising just above the tree tops – or stuck on the runway? Or worse, still trying to find the airport!

Today is December 1st and in a months time we’ll have the annual goal setting bonanza called New Year Resolutions. I have discussed goal setting before in different ways, my favorite being the use of compass setting mentality rather than rigid, over elaborate goals. But also, I have stressed that January 1 isn’t the only day, and certainly not always the best day, to set new goals.

If nothing changes where will you be this time next year?

Much of what we do is habit, from brushing our teeth to the side of the bed we sleep. Changing habits isn’t easy. But if you reflect on how your life is now, how you got to where you are now, you should be able to get a picture of how your life will be any time hence (doesn’t have to be a year) if you continue without change.

Look at all aspects of your life, such as work/career, money, health, family, friendships/love, spiritual/personal growth, leisure/fun/recreation/sport, environment.

To be honest, the best way is to give yourself headings that feel right for you and start writing. Don’t just focus on work or income generation. The whole purpose is to look at your life as a whole and not jump to conclusions. [Read more…]