Great Self Confidence

...to live the life you want

Skills to build self confidence

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When researching my recent post build self confidence, I came across other articles and blogs on this theme. But as I discussed in my post, some of the tips and steps suggested elsewhere are somewhat dubious.

With a title 7 Smart Ways to Build Self Confidence, I thought Mohamed Tohami in Lost-Media.net may buck the trend.  Well, the result is very mixed. Here are his “smart ways”:-

Fire walking, skills to build self confidence
Building self confidence? dadjanda (Flickr.com)

1 Travel

2. Walk on Fire

3. Express yourself

4. Join a Toastmasters Chapter

5. Learn one new skill every year (at least)

6. Break a Record!

7. Study Self Confidence.

 

I think the last item is somewhat ironic as by studying self confidence you will have to wade through a swamp of contradictory advice! You’ll most likely end up confused rather than more confident. [Read more…]

Build Self Confidence

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This blog has many tips on how to build self confidence. I wrote a post 20 ways to build self confidence some time back. I now find there is even a video based on an article I discussed in that post!

My main criticism remains – walking faster and sitting in the front row are rather weird suggestions and hardly likely to have the desired effect.  If you lack self confidence you will feel very self conscious sitting in the front and feel worse.  There is no guarantee you will eventually get over that and feel more confident.

Feeling the fear and doing it anyway – as in Susan Jeffers book title – doesn’t work for everyone.  If you go along this route its about coming to terms that we have learnt to feel fear and associate it with that activity.  And, unless you are short sighted or hard of hearing, what actually do you achieve by sitting in the front? [Read more…]

Time for Change

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“If you don’t change your direction, you’re likely to end up where you’re heading.”  Chinese proverb.

Vote for Change?

In the UK we are in the throws of an election campaign.  The main opposition party, and favourites to win, have as their slogan “Time for Change“.  Its not unusual for politicians to promise change, and promote themselves as the agent of change.

confident changeWhat surprises me is why its considered a winning slogan – when generally speaking we all seem to hate change.  In our day to day lives we stick to ingrained habits – whether its what we eat, what we do, or how we think.

Desperately Seeking Something?

I recently saw an episode of one of my favourite television shows, “Desperate Housewives”. Like many locations in TV land they have more than their fair share of disasters and trauma; this episode was the post air-plane crash where several characters were in life or death (or life changing) situations.

The whole show was made up of flash backs and “flash forwards” – what would their life be like if….   [Read more…]

Nothing More Sexy than Self Confidence

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Every now and then I read something that makes me smile and feel good. Doesn't happen that often, so I'm going to share an article I've just read. Its by Kathryn Martyn and entitled Sexy People Have This: Do You? I've taken one of her subtitles as my title as, really, there is nothing as sexy as self confidence!

I see myself as beautiful because that’s how I want to see myself. You could say I’m my own best friend. I build myself up, rather than tear myself down. I do the same thing regarding health so even if I feel lousy, I’m more likely to say (if asked), that I feel fine, thank you very much. It’s a mental game, yes, but it’s a game I play to win. I believe (which makes it true for me) that if I tell myself positive things, then positive things will follow.

I have no idea what Kathryn looks like, or how old she is. But I do know she looks awesome – because that's how she chooses to look. She briefly mentions self talk and challenging the negative inner voice. But the main message is to establish from the outset that you are beautiful. [Read more…]

Dealing with Negative Thinking

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We all get negative automatic thoughts. Its how we deal with them that affects our feelings and mood, and what we perceive to be our self esteem. If we can look rationally at a situation and effectively challenge negative thoughts (or problem solve if they are the reality), then we are on track to have healthy self esteem.

DesiderataUnfortunately, if we leave negative automatic thoughts to take root, they become a constant negative self talk. We end up seeing every situation from a negative perspective.

Catch Them!

The first step, though, is to catch yourself doing it. You may spend time in the company of people who are very negative – not necessarily about themselves, but on everything they comment on. [Read more…]