Great Self Confidence

...to live the life you want

Do clothes make a person?

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Can you feel good, feel self confident, even if your clothes are rather shabby?  There is the argument that you should be proud of yourself no matter what you are wearing. Clothes should be a nice "finishing touch", but ultimately its the person underneath that either shines with confidence, or shirks in the shadows.

To some extent it does come down to your attitude to what you wear. If you are financially hard up and aware that the clothes you are wearing have seen better days, then you will be self conscious and that awareness will affect you.

An easy "unhelpful thought" to slip into is mind reading. We imagine others are having critical thoughts about us, ripping our clothes to shreds in their minds and ridiculing us for what we look like – even tough we have no idea what other people are thinking.

Alternatively, some people are oblivious to the opinions of others and feel confident whatever they wear.  There are highly successful people don't give a damn about appearance or fashion, feeling good about themselves whatever they are wearing.

The Donkey Jacket that Wasn't

Some people can look shabby in even the most expensive clothes. [Read more…]

10 Quick Tips for a Confidence Boost?

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As I have flagged up before, lists are popular.  And lists of ways  to boost self confidence or self esteem are quite frequent, often rehashing the same ideas.  I happened, via twitter, on one today – 10 Quick Confidence Boosters – in WomansDay.com.self confidence posture

The list is quite interesting:-

1. Straighten up.

2. Note the positives.

3. Break a sweat (or not).

4. Get a haircut.

5. Schedule a girls’ night.

6. Lend a hand.

7. Look on the bright side.

8. Make a list.

9. Set a (small) goal.

10. Try something new.

For one thing each suggestion is backed up by some research or "expert" advice. The other is how gender specific some of the advice is. OK, schedule a "boys" night out is the same thing. But the difference is that women can gain emotional support from a network of friends that men are unable to. Men don't connect in the same way as women – we just don't share personnel information.

The other suggestion that hit me is "Get a haircut".  Ever since childhood having a haircut is an ordeal.  Then it could lead to ridicule, now its just a tiresome chore. I don't know any men who actually look forward to having a haircut, or would see it as a confidence booster! [Read more…]

Nothing More Sexy than Self Confidence

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Every now and then I read something that makes me smile and feel good. Doesn't happen that often, so I'm going to share an article I've just read. Its by Kathryn Martyn and entitled Sexy People Have This: Do You? I've taken one of her subtitles as my title as, really, there is nothing as sexy as self confidence!

I see myself as beautiful because that’s how I want to see myself. You could say I’m my own best friend. I build myself up, rather than tear myself down. I do the same thing regarding health so even if I feel lousy, I’m more likely to say (if asked), that I feel fine, thank you very much. It’s a mental game, yes, but it’s a game I play to win. I believe (which makes it true for me) that if I tell myself positive things, then positive things will follow.

I have no idea what Kathryn looks like, or how old she is. But I do know she looks awesome – because that's how she chooses to look. She briefly mentions self talk and challenging the negative inner voice. But the main message is to establish from the outset that you are beautiful. [Read more…]

Definitions of Self Esteem

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self esteem definitionEarlier this week I read a blog post Building Self Esteem by personal development blogger Alex Shalman.  I've followed Alex for a while, taking part in his happiness project about 18 months ago.

Alex has just started dental school – good luck to him as dentistry is a total turnoff to me!  But he was reflecting on a class where his tutor defined self esteem as:-

…it’s a feeling that you are a valuable human being by possessing a quality that makes you such. This could be for a number of reasons, including but not exclusive to, having a skill, talent, job, relationship, helping people, being attractive, etc.

Do we have to possess some quality to make us valuable? If someone spends all day at home watching TV, with no interaction with others, does that mean they have no value? And by this definition, low self esteem?

If you do a search on Twitter for "self esteem", the main attributing reason people describe their self esteem as low is through how they look.  Unfortunately many deem themselves unattractive – thats why the Dove video looking at image manipulation was so effective.

[Read more…]

That Dove Photo Thing

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I’ve mentioned the Dove Self Esteem Campaign before, I think in Self Esteem Exercises.  Its easy to be cynical about their motives – at the end of the day they are still marketing soap!

But as various surveys always seem to conclude that the majority of teenage girls want to change the way they look, then their campaign has merit. Dove say they are:-

"very commited to freeing the next generation from self-limiting beauty stereotypes"

That might be rather optimistic, as those stereotypes are deep seated and constantly being reinforced. Its been around for a while, but I only saw this video the other day. Personally I think its quite powerful, and says a lot in 75 seconds. What do you think? Have Dove helped women improve their self esteem?