Great Self Confidence

...to live the life you want

Review of Fabulous Self Esteem

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Fabulous Self Esteem

The above video is part of a promotion used for Amy Twain’s ebook, “Fabulous Self Esteem ~ Right About Now“. This is both well written and very contemporary.  She has lots of calls to action, some of which were new to me.

What I liked

Amy starts with an explanation of what self esteem is and how it differs from self confidence.  This is a useful introduction that illustrates how people try to sustain their self esteem with unsustainable strategies:-

“most individuals having low self esteem often-times depend on how they are doing presently to determine how they feel about themselves.”

The ebook also includes an eleven question quiz to help evaluate your self esteem. The first three chapters look at the origins of low self esteem and some of the common character traits, or facades, we don.  [Read more…]

Dealing with Negative Thinking

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We all get negative automatic thoughts. Its how we deal with them that affects our feelings and mood, and what we perceive to be our self esteem. If we can look rationally at a situation and effectively challenge negative thoughts (or problem solve if they are the reality), then we are on track to have healthy self esteem.

DesiderataUnfortunately, if we leave negative automatic thoughts to take root, they become a constant negative self talk. We end up seeing every situation from a negative perspective.

Catch Them!

The first step, though, is to catch yourself doing it. You may spend time in the company of people who are very negative – not necessarily about themselves, but on everything they comment on. [Read more…]

Are Affirmations Useless?

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Its 150 years since the publication of what is now regarded as the first self help book – Samuel Smiles “Self Help“.  Still on sale today – and apparently a big seller in countries such as Japan and China.  selfhelp1But when first published it sold 20,000 copies in its first year, and by the time of Smiles death in 1902 had sold over 1/4 million copies. In the 19th Century it was only out sold by the Bible!

In a recent radio program it was said Smiles book was published on the same day as “On Origin of Species” by Charles Darwin.  I cannot find any other proof of that fact. Either way,  it could be that Smiles message “Heaven helps those who help themselves” was reassuring to a society held together by Christian beliefs.

But the underlying message from Smiles was that success came through dedication and hard work.  He didn’t appear to believe in the concept of “genius”, all those he portrayed in his case studies got there by hard graft and application. Interestingly, this is a central theme of Malcolm Gladwell’s latest book, Outliers.

The End of Self Help?

oprah1I write this as some have been predicting the end of self help, [Read more…]

Michael Jackson, the Curse of Talent?

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michael-jackson"Being confident is not always the same as being good at something"? That interesting statement appeared recently on another blog, My Life with Angels, which in turn was responding to a post by Maggie Stiefvater. On several occasions I have touched on the issue of whether being good at something is a key way to develop self confidence or healthy self esteem.  My favourite, How to Build Self Confidence Through Activity, looks at examples of children being taught karate, ballet and magic tricks.  I expressed doubt at the choices of ballet or karate,  as many fall by the wayside.  Unless you reach a certain level of competence neither activity will develop self confidence. Whilst success at an activity can help with self confidence, the argument from the other bloggers was you don’t have to first attain success or accomplishment to feel self confident. 

[Read more…]

Fear is the Key

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I started writing this post about a week ago. My theme of fear isn’t that original, but constantly recurring in our thoughts. Since starting writing, two things have happened to me that have reinforced the stupidity of most of our fears.


Without going into the gory details, I had a biopsy last Tuesday for possible prostate cancer. I’ve had one before, and its precautionary rather than done with great expectation of having cancer. But the mere act of going through a very invasive procedure, and confronting the possibility of a life threatening disease does heighten your awareness of the fragility of life.

14 hours after undergoing the biopsy, my daughter informed us that our car was on fire. So at 4.15am, about 5 hours since last used, we waited for the fire brigade to arrive. This brief clip now on YouTube (where else!)  shows the demise of “Ethel”. [Read more…]