Great Self Confidence

...to live the life you want

3 Vital Self Confidence Tricks

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I have found a great post titled 3 Vital Self Confidence Tricks. The author, Dean Hunt, focuses on building self confidence when suffering from anxiety – such as in a social situation. His third “trick” in particular I like as it’s something that’s easy to do, but easy to overlook. Speak to yourself as you would speak to a friend.

If we make a mistake our self talk can be quite damning, “you are such a stupid fool”. But would we be so hard on a friend? This technique transposes even better when lacking confidence in our ability to do something. If you were a friend of a person giving a presentation or speech what would you be saying to them? You wouldn’t be saying “you’re going to mess up”, “you’re going to forget what to say”, “you’ll lose your job after this”. So why say those things to yourself?! As Dean says – speak to yourself as you would to others.

Confidence – who puts you down?

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Does anyone keep putting you down? I will return to the issue of dealing with the negative messages we all get whilst growing up, but this is about the here and now. Unfortunately there are many people out there in relationships with, working with, or friends with people who consistently make negative remarks about them and undermine their self confidence.

Over the years I’ve come across many people in this situation. Often they simply absorb the criticisms they receive and believe what they’re hearing – ending up with ongoing low self confidence. Especially when close to the person, it doesn’t occur to challenge what is being said. The person doing the criticism may themselves be unaware how damaging their behavior is, or that they are actually doing it.

Be aware of who you spend your time with and what they say to you. If friends put you down – do you need to review this friendship? Within work, school or family situations, learning to challenge critical remarks or put downs isn’t easy if you’re confidence is already low. But it can be done and I’ll come back to learning assertiveness skills. In the short term, being aware that what is being said is just someone’s opinion, and choosing not to take it as fact is a big step forward to great self confidence.