Last week my wife and I went to a wedding. A relatively low key event – 50 guests, with bride and groom both second time around – it was interesting at how different people performed.

Personally it didn’t start well – my suit trousers had mysteriously “shrunk” since I last wore them over a year ago. I could get into them – but looking in the mirror all I could see was my huge “beer gut”!

Also my collar no longer did up at the neck, leaving my tie to hold the “gap” together. Suddenly my air of confidence slipped away, as I felt my now shabby appearance would mark me out from the rest of the smartly dressed men. The bride was a friend of my wife’s, and not knowing any guests, I started to inflate their stature (and diminish mine) in my thinking.

As it happened, not everyone was wearing a suit, and with a bit of wear my suit and tie seemed to settle into place. Apart from the “top table” no-one was dressed particularly flash. But it reminded me of a few basic lessons in building self confidence.

1) Whatever the occasion we need to take care with our appearance. I’m not advocating dieting or anything radical. But dressing “confidently” can be easily achieved with a bit of time and effort. The key is how we feel about ourselves, not the judgment of others. If you feel you look right, that is a big part of the mental game.
2) Confidence is about tolerating the unknown – not letting uncertainty blow us off course. We all encounter many situations on a daily basis that we cannot know exactly what will happen, who we will meet, how they will act. In our minds we can destroy our confidence before we go out the door – if we let it.