Great Self Confidence

...to live the life you want

10 Quick Tips for a Confidence Boost?

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As I have flagged up before, lists are popular.  And lists of ways  to boost self confidence or self esteem are quite frequent, often rehashing the same ideas.  I happened, via twitter, on one today – 10 Quick Confidence Boosters – in WomansDay.com.self confidence posture

The list is quite interesting:-

1. Straighten up.

2. Note the positives.

3. Break a sweat (or not).

4. Get a haircut.

5. Schedule a girls’ night.

6. Lend a hand.

7. Look on the bright side.

8. Make a list.

9. Set a (small) goal.

10. Try something new.

For one thing each suggestion is backed up by some research or "expert" advice. The other is how gender specific some of the advice is. OK, schedule a "boys" night out is the same thing. But the difference is that women can gain emotional support from a network of friends that men are unable to. Men don't connect in the same way as women – we just don't share personnel information.

The other suggestion that hit me is "Get a haircut".  Ever since childhood having a haircut is an ordeal.  Then it could lead to ridicule, now its just a tiresome chore. I don't know any men who actually look forward to having a haircut, or would see it as a confidence booster! [Read more…]

Is Smiling Good for You?

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For some reason there have been a few articles about smiling recently. We all do it from time to time (don’t we?), but for most of us a smile isn’t our natural – or first choice – expression.

A Smile Will Win Over Anyone?

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One  article I nearly didn’t read was a article entitled “physician job search tips“, which isn’t an arresting title for non physicians.

However, as the author had used a “smilie” to illustrate his “tip seven” it caught my eye:-

“Enthusiasm. Bring an absolutely positive attitude without being too familiar. Negativism is not allowed. Sell yourself. The difference between bragging and self confidence is enthusiasm.
Smile. A genuine heart warming smile can win over anyone…whether you interview for physician jobs or not.”

The difference between bragging (or arrogance?)  and self confidence is enthusiasm? I think there is a lot of truth in that. And the advice, like most  of of the other tips, applies whether you are going for a job interview or going into work at a job you’ve been doing for many years. [Read more…]

20 Ways to Build Self Confidence?

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I often look at other sites, articles and blogs in the field of self improvement. Partially for my own interest – I’ve always enjoyed reading and finding new ways to move forward in this area. confident-briefsBut also to point others in the direction of good writing – whether through Twitter, my newsletter or on this blog.

Most people use search engines, particularly Google, to find out information on a particular topic. It’s quite reassuring (and good for the ego!) to still be on page one of Google for the term “self confidence”.

One site, or rather particular post,  that I’ve often come across  first appeared 21 months ago on Pick the Brain. Titled 10 ways to Build Self Confidence – by John Jorgensen – it currently sits at the top of Googles page one for “self confidence”. In other words Google considers it the most relevant page for anyone searching for self confidence.

Now, we can debate the accuracy of the Google algorithm – many do. Make your own mind up, but I don’t think the 10 suggestions are the best ways to gain self confidence:- [Read more…]

How to be assertive

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I have done bits and pieces on assertiveness in the past, this post brings everything together to give an overview of this important skill – otherwise known as confident communication.  How to be assertive means

“expressing my rights and acknowledging others’ rights. It doesn’t guarantee I’ll get what I want – but it does guarantee that I’ve expressed myself and, therefore, maintained my integrity. It’s saying what I want/feel, voicing my opinion/saying no, being able to negotiate the best solution for all.” (source unknown)

When we think of unassertive behaviour, we tend to automatically focus on passive or weak responses to the demands of others. But aggression is also non assertive, as is manipulative or sarcastic language and behaviour.

Passive Behaviour

I’m not OK…but you are Passive behaviour is acting in a way that does not meet our needs – saying “yes” to a request when we wish to say “no”, or staying silent when we have a request to make ourselves. We strive to please others, but neglect our own needs. Passive behaviour is driven by passive thinking – “I mustn’t rock the boat”, “I’m not important”, “nothing goes right for me”.

Whilst outwardly submissive, indecisive and helpless, inside there may well be inner conflict, tension and stress as the inability to meet our own needs fuels feelings of frustration and anger. Examples of passive behaviour include:- Avoiding eye contact, fidgeting Speech is rambling Apologizing all the time Putting yourself down Agreeing to things you don’t want to do or backing down Saying things like “it doesn’t matter” “sorry to bother you” [Read more…]

8 Ways to Start Faking It

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A common  method suggested to build self confidence is to “fake it till you make it”. Easier said than done. Here’s a few ideas.

Practice

The old saying “practice makes perfect” could be rewritten “practice makes confident”. It may sound obvious, but in this day and age practicing a skill seems to be overlooked. We forget we weren’t born able to walk or talk!

I touched on practice a few weeks ago in my post on activity. What I like about the use of magic tricks, as opposed to ballet and karate is that the children could perform confidently after a short period of time. But, they still needed to practice to get there. Practice only makes permanent what you practice – good or bad. My daughter practicing her singing is a case where bad may become permanent!

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Since I started writing this post, I’ve just come across this article on the importance of practice

[Read more…]