Perfectionism came up as a comment on my last post, being good. It sounds fine – searching for the highest standards, being displeased with anything less than perfect. But it can lead to distress and self condemnation when you do anything thats less than perfect.

I’ve come across this interesting test that gives you a rating (%) of how much of a perfectionist you are. But most of us know whether or not we are perfectionists, and whether or not it you feel its an asset or hindrance.

There are differing theories as to where perfectionism comes from, some suggesting that there is a genetic component as it tends to run in families. But equally the behavior of parents towards children has a huge effect. If parents are strict, disciplinarians then children learn to fear making mistakes.

If a child only receives love or attention when successful – such as getting top marks in class, they will strive towards perfectionism in adulthood. To be loved, they have to be perfect. [Read more…]