Great Self Confidence

...to live the life you want

Confidence building exercise – portfolio

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To build self confidence, a good starting point is an inventory of what we have done well. Unfortunately we are very good at recalling our failures, situations where things didn’t go so well. This is partly because of the emotional attachment that helps make things going badly stand out, whereas doing something well (but not getting praise from others or ourselves) may not register much emotionally. Also, when your confidence is low, its easy to dismiss successful events as insignificant.

For now start building a portfolio of achievements. This can be work or school related, personal life, pursuing a hobby – anything you like. And you can go back as far as you can remember.

If possible start a ring binder or folder to keep this list and future exercises in. Apart from anything else it reinforces the fact that you are important, the achievements you are listing are worth recording on more than a scrap of paper. Its also useful to include visual reminders, such as photographs, if you have them.

This is something you can do over time and also ask people close to you to give suggestions – so long as you choose people who will be positive! Have a mix of statements – My greatest achievement is…. I am very good at…. I played a great game of…. on…. I can cook …….. better than anyone I have a wonderful (family member)…..

Such a “portfolio” is a great way of giving our confidence a boost – either as a first aid measure when needed or to gradually build a firmer foundation for our self confidence.

Take the confidence check

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How confident are you? I’ve come across this simple, ten question, quiz that gives a confidence rating between 5 (rock bottom) and 50 (total confidence). Give it a go today. I’m going to start adding some exercises and other tools over the next few weeks, so you can see what improvements you’ve made. Click on CONFIDENCE CHECK.

Is there a difference between self esteem and self confidence?

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Self confidence and self esteem are linked but they’re not the same thing.  Sometimes the two do get confused. Your self esteem is how much you like yourself, how you see yourself.  What we see when we look in the mirror. Self esteem is somewhat passive and isn’t something others can observe in you.

By comparison, you can see how self confidently  somebody (or even a group such as a sports team) is acting.  Self confidence is more active, and describes our abilities and willingness to interact with the world around us.

Does having great self confidence go hand in hand with having great self esteem? Not necessarily. Someone can appear and act very confidently, but have low self esteem. You can be very self confident in you ability to do things, but be full of self loathing. Celebrities such as Princess Diana and Elton John have all fitted this category at times.

The initial focus of this blog was self confidence. Partly because as an Occupational Therapist rather than Psychologist I focus on “doing” and “function”, activity rather than talk and analysis. For most of us working on and building self confidence, our inner view of ourselves – our self respect – should improve as well.

However, there are times when I will specifically focus on self esteem issues, recognizing that is the direction some people are coming from. There are also different cultural interpretations and usages of the two phrases, so I won’t get too pedantic in separating them.