Great Self Confidence

...to live the life you want

Archives for April 2008

Being good at what you do

by

Samuel SmilesImage via Wikipedia

It may be of comparatively little consequence how a man is governed from without, whilst everything depends upon how he governs himself from within. The greatest slave is not he who is ruled by a despot, great though that evil be, but he who is the thrall of his own moral ignorance, selfishness, and vice.

Samuel Smiles Self-help 1859

I recently came across what must be one of the first ever self improvement books. Self-help by Samuel Smiles was first published in England in 1859, but was widely translated and sold in thousands worldwide.The book largely chronicles the lives of remarkable people, making much of how ordinary they were at birth. They achieved great things through perseverance and dedication, toiling away through hardship and unremitting hard work. [Read more…]

How Self Conscious are YOU?

by

Do you worry what others think about you? Are you afraid of looking a fool in public – of being a subject of ridicule? How self conscious are you? Would you stay inside rather than go out in scruffy, dirty clothes – or without make up?!

I have written before about how much looking good can help our confidence. If you look the part its easier to act it. But… Allowing our lives be dominated by what others think of us is of course something we should be avoid. However, its very easy to let this slip through – especially when we have established social codes of appearance that we adhere to as well.

I was recently taken with this story about a farmer, Rob Tavener, who practices tai chi in front of his herd of cows. He reckons that as animals are receptive to human moods, so the more relaxed and happy he is, the happier they are. And of course, the happier his cows are, the more milk they produce. [Read more…]

Dealing with Bullying Behavior

by

bullying behaviourI was woken up this morning to the rather distasteful image of Gordon Ramsey and Graham Poll – in shorts. Both were being interviewed on TV before setting off on the London marathon.

Gordon Ramsey is a well known TV chef, who has an international empire of top restaurants (well, at least 3). He has built his TV reputation by a constant use of bad language – whatever the type of show he is doing. His early TV work was more about him in his restaurants, where his employees were at the receiving end of his bullying and swearing.

Graham Poll was a top referee within the English Soccer Premiership. Since he retired he has been critical of how the top players and teams try to bully and intimidate referees. Whatever his thoughts (he has an autobiography to sell!) its quite clear that the top sportsmen (and most highly paid) in this country respond to decisions against them with verbal abuse, descent, at times physical aggression and intimidation.

Before seeing these characters this morning I had already planned to reflect on how some people do rise to the top by using anger in an aggressive way and being “effective” bullies. [Read more…]

Start Making Friends

by

market11.jpg

One thing I have never particularly enjoyed is making “small talk” with strangers. Everywhere we go we are surrounded by new people (a nicer term than strangers) – just try walking down a shopping street. Most of the time we make little effort to interact with them. “Small talk” situations arise socially or at work when we are thrown into a confined space with these new people, and feel we have to interact to be polite.

Yesterday I had to go one stage beyond making small talk. As part of my photography course we went to a local market to do a social documentary project. It was suggested we politely ask stall holders if they minded having their photograph taken before shoving a camera in their face!

It was an interesting morning. Before setting off, most of us expressed misgivings about approaching total strangers and asking if we could take their photograph. We joked about being arrested or punched for our trouble – trying to hide the fact that we weren’t particularly confident. Even our tutor, Simon Lawrence – an experienced photo journalist – reflected on how such situations can create tension.

The worst thing that could happen did – [Read more…]