Great Self Confidence

...to live the life you want

Learn to Network

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I have recently joined a new service called “Shy Networking“.  As a lifelong introvert, although I would no longer describe myself as shy, networking networking with confidencehas never come easy. Likewise for one of the team behind Shy Networking, professional blogger Chris Garrett.

My main reason for joining was to learn how to network online, which basically I’m very poor at. Whilst I have learnt (the hard way) to network reasonably effectively face to face, I’ve not been able to carry that forward on the internet.

This is somewhat ironic, as theoretically it should be easier for a shy or introverted person to network where there is no face to face contact.  However, I’ve started to realise that some of the principles behind networking go deeper than just being able to cope with meeting strangers. Just because I can “do” face to face networking doesn’t mean I’ve been good at it?!

Brian Tracy

I recently saw a Brian Tracy video on the 10 essentials  for success. One of these was contacts – the number of people who know you in a positive way. He stressed never take rejection as a sign of lack of interest or take it personally – people are busy.

“Some will, some won’t, so what…  next.“

The more people you know, the more likelihood of the right person being there at right time. His key method to build contacts was to always look for ways to help. However, that’s easier said than done.

Time will tell if I can improve and build my network via Shy Networking and it proves worth the money.  But it has got me reflecting about networking,

here are my suggestions on what can help:- [Read more…]

Self Confidence from Failure

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I don’t know about you, but I dislike the word failure. It’s very negative and, to me, sounds quite final. However…

Failure and rejection won’t kill you. You may think that it does and it may feel like it almost will just after it has happened. But it won’t. Instead it makes you stronger. It makes you more confident in yourself.

That’s a quote from Henrik Edberg on his ever successful Positivity blog.  failureCoincidentally I linked to him the last time I devoted a post to the topic – Overcome a Fear of Failure.  On that occasion Henrik had been quoting Oprah; this time he has 10 great quotes and argues that by failing you build an inner strength and grow as a person.

Do we have to learn from failure?

I‘ve also been drawn to another blog post on the topic, this time by Dragos Roua, who says [Read more…]

Do clothes make a person?

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Can you feel good, feel self confident, even if your clothes are rather shabby?  There is the argument that you should be proud of yourself no matter what you are wearing. Clothes should be a nice "finishing touch", but ultimately its the person underneath that either shines with confidence, or shirks in the shadows.

To some extent it does come down to your attitude to what you wear. If you are financially hard up and aware that the clothes you are wearing have seen better days, then you will be self conscious and that awareness will affect you.

An easy "unhelpful thought" to slip into is mind reading. We imagine others are having critical thoughts about us, ripping our clothes to shreds in their minds and ridiculing us for what we look like – even tough we have no idea what other people are thinking.

Alternatively, some people are oblivious to the opinions of others and feel confident whatever they wear.  There are highly successful people don't give a damn about appearance or fashion, feeling good about themselves whatever they are wearing.

The Donkey Jacket that Wasn't

Some people can look shabby in even the most expensive clothes. [Read more…]

10 Quick Tips for a Confidence Boost?

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As I have flagged up before, lists are popular.  And lists of ways  to boost self confidence or self esteem are quite frequent, often rehashing the same ideas.  I happened, via twitter, on one today – 10 Quick Confidence Boosters – in WomansDay.com.self confidence posture

The list is quite interesting:-

1. Straighten up.

2. Note the positives.

3. Break a sweat (or not).

4. Get a haircut.

5. Schedule a girls’ night.

6. Lend a hand.

7. Look on the bright side.

8. Make a list.

9. Set a (small) goal.

10. Try something new.

For one thing each suggestion is backed up by some research or "expert" advice. The other is how gender specific some of the advice is. OK, schedule a "boys" night out is the same thing. But the difference is that women can gain emotional support from a network of friends that men are unable to. Men don't connect in the same way as women – we just don't share personnel information.

The other suggestion that hit me is "Get a haircut".  Ever since childhood having a haircut is an ordeal.  Then it could lead to ridicule, now its just a tiresome chore. I don't know any men who actually look forward to having a haircut, or would see it as a confidence booster! [Read more…]

Is Smiling Good for You?

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For some reason there have been a few articles about smiling recently. We all do it from time to time (don’t we?), but for most of us a smile isn’t our natural – or first choice – expression.

A Smile Will Win Over Anyone?

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One  article I nearly didn’t read was a article entitled “physician job search tips“, which isn’t an arresting title for non physicians.

However, as the author had used a “smilie” to illustrate his “tip seven” it caught my eye:-

“Enthusiasm. Bring an absolutely positive attitude without being too familiar. Negativism is not allowed. Sell yourself. The difference between bragging and self confidence is enthusiasm.
Smile. A genuine heart warming smile can win over anyone…whether you interview for physician jobs or not.”

The difference between bragging (or arrogance?)  and self confidence is enthusiasm? I think there is a lot of truth in that. And the advice, like most  of of the other tips, applies whether you are going for a job interview or going into work at a job you’ve been doing for many years. [Read more…]