8 Ways to Start Faking It

A common  method suggested to build self confidence is to “fake it till you make it”. Easier said than done. Here’s a few ideas.


The old saying “practice makes perfect” could be rewritten “practice makes confident”. It may sound obvious, but in this day and age practicing a skill seems to be overlooked. We forget we weren’t born able to walk or talk!

I touched on practice a few weeks ago in my post on activity. What I like about the use of magic tricks, as opposed to ballet and karate is that the children could perform confidently after a short period of time. But, they still needed to practice to get there. Practice only makes permanent what you practice – good or bad. My daughter practicing her singing is a case where bad may become permanent!


Since I started writing this post, I’ve just come across this article on the importance of practice


One of my earlier posts can you improve confidence with a smile has a lovely quote:-

Have you ever tried to smile and think of a negative thought? Usually the result is that one of the feelings will win out.

Even if its through gritted teeth, get those lips moving! If you focus your thoughts on smiling, then they’re not recycling the negatives about what you can’t do.

Practice smiling with your eyes. This is about smiling inwardly, becoming in control of your self talk and being positive about the situation you find yourself in.

Look Confident

As well as smiling, get your body up to scratch. Statistics vary, but at least 70% of your message is conveyed through body language. I’ve broken down steps you can take to look confident which revolve around lifting your body out of its pelvis and relaxing your shoulders. Sounds painful, but do check it out!

Sound Confident

How do you sound to others? Whatever voice you are born with, their are exercises you can do to improve your speaking voice. This starts with practicing speaking out loud to tone up your speaking muscles. Other exercises described include over emphasizing syllables and exaggerating the movements made  as you speak.

Unfortunately our voice can let us down when we are anxious. The symptoms of anxiety can lead to a dry mouth and rapid, shallow breathing. Anxiety is usually triggered  by thinking as we seldom encounter real danger that requires this fight or fight response.

Positive Thinking

I have written several posts that touch on positive thinking. There are two basic issues. One, we get into bad thinking habits. For instance after doing something, several people may praise us and one may say something slightly critical – we only focus on the criticism.

The other is our everyday self talk.  We get in the habit of thinking negatively because we receive far more negative messages than positive, Consequently, our automatic thoughts are negative. And unfortunately we take thoughts as facts. Get in the habit of challenging negative thoughts, rather than believing them.

Stop worrying

Worrying is like putting petrol/gasoline on a bonfire. Worrying doesn’t actually solve a problem, it just makes us feel worse. We all do it to varying degrees, but worry has no usefulness what so ever. Learn to problem solve – the first step when you find yourself worrying is to define what the problem actually is.

Improve your Environment

Ensure your environment is helpful. There may be some things you can’t help – like when I worked in a prison built in 1856!  It didn’t exactly make you feel cheery and positive when you went in.  But usually you can make adjustments, especially at home to ensure clutter and mess don’t leave you feeling flat.  However you feel, your mood has a knock on effect on your confidence.

Using pictures or symbols  is also effective. I’m not hot on those slick motivational posters you can get, but you can always create your own.  Using a photograph, piece of music or anything inspiring to you can help. I wrote about the big demand for empty bottles with inspirational labels in China recently.

Stop being self conscious

As I said in my post on self consciousness:-

Do you worry what others think about you? Are you afraid of looking a fool in public – of being a subject of ridicule? How self conscious are you? Would you stay inside rather than go out in scruffy, dirty clothes – or without make up?!

Start putting you head above the parapet, do things that you feel are right, not what may look good to others. On that note, I will end with a video of me looking like a whale as I make my escape…


bbrian017 October 19, 2008 at 5:30 pm

hahah too funny! I don’t think I would ever go on Camera! Especially if I knew it was going to be sent to you tube 🙂

Nice list you put together here!

Good luck with that escape LMAO seems you will be swimming for years!

bbrian017s last blog post..7 Things You Could Be Doing Instead of a4Justa4 Working

Vincent October 20, 2008 at 3:46 am

By faking it, our physiology can change what we are thinking. I totally agree on the phrase when you say that when you smile and think of a negative thought, normally one of the feelings will win out. I believe most of the time, the smile will win over the negative thought.

Personal Development Blogger

Vincents last blog post..Amazing Speech By Al Paccino

Raymond Chua October 20, 2008 at 4:53 am

Hi David,

Great tips here. I have shared it with my readers. 😉

Stephan Miller October 20, 2008 at 2:44 pm

The correct mindset helps a lot more than most people think.

Stephan Millers last blog post..My FireFox Addons

Jamie October 21, 2008 at 9:17 pm

You make a great point. The 8 ways you have described in your post are exactly what people need. Those are the things we encounter in our everyday lives. We live and breathe these so-called symptons. If people only live their lives without peer pressure and their thoughts, it would be a happy world.
Your positive thinking step got my attention the most. If people have positive thoughts, they would be happy, smiley, and confident with themselves.
Great post.

Jamies last blog post..Proactiv isn’t proactive – why water is bad

Charm6781_Yatie October 29, 2008 at 6:30 pm

Excellent tips point out here.
It’s always very interesting to know what others think and share it out.
I like more on positive thingking as it’s not mainly to train your brain to think positive all the time, but it’s more on how well you challenge your negative thoughts.


Sarah November 13, 2008 at 1:43 pm

haha funny video 🙂 and great post by the way.. also the other posts connected with this one are cool too 🙂

Paul D April 23, 2009 at 12:36 am

Great post…its always helpful for me to read some tips on how to be more confident.

{ 2 trackbacks }

Previous post:

Next post: