Great Self Confidence

...to live the life you want

Is Optimism the Foundation of Self Confidence?

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Are you an optimist? Do you naturally look on the bright side of any situation? Do you expect the best outcome – or the worst? The reason I ask is I have just read that

"Optimism is the foundation on which all self confidence is built".

Whilst I'm more of an optimist that pessimist, I had never seen optimism as such a building block for self confidence.

optimism self confidence

The quote comes from blogger Bud Bilanich, who brands himself  "the Common Sense Guy". His thoughtful post Haiti, Optimism and Success takes in how people can still be optimistic despite great devastation and how ultimately most of our troubles and worries  pale by comparison. [Read more…]

10 Quick Tips for a Confidence Boost?

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As I have flagged up before, lists are popular.  And lists of ways  to boost self confidence or self esteem are quite frequent, often rehashing the same ideas.  I happened, via twitter, on one today – 10 Quick Confidence Boosters – in WomansDay.com.self confidence posture

The list is quite interesting:-

1. Straighten up.

2. Note the positives.

3. Break a sweat (or not).

4. Get a haircut.

5. Schedule a girls’ night.

6. Lend a hand.

7. Look on the bright side.

8. Make a list.

9. Set a (small) goal.

10. Try something new.

For one thing each suggestion is backed up by some research or "expert" advice. The other is how gender specific some of the advice is. OK, schedule a "boys" night out is the same thing. But the difference is that women can gain emotional support from a network of friends that men are unable to. Men don't connect in the same way as women – we just don't share personnel information.

The other suggestion that hit me is "Get a haircut".  Ever since childhood having a haircut is an ordeal.  Then it could lead to ridicule, now its just a tiresome chore. I don't know any men who actually look forward to having a haircut, or would see it as a confidence booster! [Read more…]

Adjust your Attitude

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self confidenceAs we move towards year, and decade, end its a usual time to reflect and make plans (dare I say resolutions!) for 2010.  Last year, in When New Year Resolutions Break Down, I discussed not getting too hung up on 1st January as being the only time to set goals.  The more important part of that opening sentence is reflect – what can we learn from our experiences.

My own period of reflection is still a "work in progress", but one thing I'm going to work on in 2010 is my attitude. Self confidence is nothing if not an attitude – and what attitude you adopt is under your control. Here are a couple of examples.

Gill Hicks

Originally from Australia, Gill Hicks has lived in London since 1992.  Her life was totally transformed by the terrorist attack on London in July 2005 ("7/7") – as Gill put it she "started life number 2".  Standing close to the suicide bomber, she lost both her legs and nearly died – losing 80% of her blood and suffering 3 cardiac arrests in the aftermath. [Read more…]

The Secret to Self Confidence is Ancient

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I have a basic principle of not promoting anything I haven't purchased and used myself. This is a review of an ebook I purchased, but then got my money back on!:-

Secrets to Self Confidence

I recently purchased this ebook as the sales page promised much:-

Each day, you will have a short but profound paragraph to read and consider, a simple exercise to complete and a memory verse to memorize. That’s it, follow this plan and with just minutes of effort a day, you will develop a strong magnetic, self-confident personality in no time at all.

However  Secrets to Self Confidence suffers a quite few drawbacks. its quite evident that the book was written some time ago – there is no clue as to whom the author James Stephenson is, but there is a preface dated 1910!  This is the start of Chapter 3 (The Cure of Self-Consciousness) :-

The student should aim here to develop definiteness of idea, sincerity of expression, and concentration of mind. Nothing leads so quickly to hesitation and embarrassment in a speaker as mental uncertainty. To speak confidently, he must not guess, or imagine, or take for granted, he must know. Lack of proper mental equipment is responsible for a large part of the fearfulness of men. One who really knows whereof he speaks, and is absolutely sure of it, is likely to be sure of himself. It manifests itself in his voice, his use of words, his manner, and his entire personality.

On the same page he goes on to quote Newman's "definition of a gentleman"! I don't know who Newman was, but like many other quotes used, it dates the text horribly. [Read more…]

8 Ways to Start Faking It

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A common  method suggested to build self confidence is to “fake it till you make it”. Easier said than done. Here’s a few ideas.

Practice

The old saying “practice makes perfect” could be rewritten “practice makes confident”. It may sound obvious, but in this day and age practicing a skill seems to be overlooked. We forget we weren’t born able to walk or talk!

I touched on practice a few weeks ago in my post on activity. What I like about the use of magic tricks, as opposed to ballet and karate is that the children could perform confidently after a short period of time. But, they still needed to practice to get there. Practice only makes permanent what you practice – good or bad. My daughter practicing her singing is a case where bad may become permanent!

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Since I started writing this post, I’ve just come across this article on the importance of practice

[Read more…]