Great Self Confidence

...to live the life you want

Can you improve self confidence with a smile?

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improve self confidence
 Everytime I see this photograph it makes me smile, which is why I’ve included it today. Reading my free book “How to improve self confidence“, one quote I liked was

Have you ever tried to smile and think of a negative thought? Usually the result is that one of the feelings will win out.

Try it and see! Basically humans cannot hold attention on more than one thought at a time – if you sit in front of a TV reading a newspaper, your attention flicks between the two, it doesn’t attend to both at the same time.

Positive thinking is cental to developing self confidence, and we will return repeatedly to ways of driving out negative thoughts. But smiling is simple, free, and something we all can do. Is your natural expression a smile or a frown? Observe other people – which ones look confident and at ease with the world?

If you go around with a frown you may find your too serious to let others near you! So smile – even if there is no reason to smile.

Great self confidence – travel

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In April I was writing about my daughter having the self confidence to work in a children’s home in India for 3 months. Now I have just been listening to a colleague, Sophie, who has just given up a good job to do some voluntary work as an Occupational Therapist in the Himalayas, a remote, mountainous region of Northern India.

I say “listening” as she has just been speaking on local radio about her plans. and is going to be regularly phoning the local station to update them on her progress. This itself takes confidence, as I found out when confronted by a camera last month (fortunately my “take” didn’t make the final DVD!).

I know whilst outwardly Sophie presents as very confident, she has had doubts and fears about what she is undertaking. But only the foolhardy never have doubts or fears. Great things are achieved because such thoughts are looked at rationally, risks balanced, plans and commitments are made. Sophie – you have my best wishes, look after yourself.

Pier to Pier update

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About 6 weeks ago I posted in Come for a swim? my intention of doing a challenge. In this case swimming 1.4 miles in the cold English sea between two piers! I also said I would raise £150.

In my mind, I’ve never regarded myself as a great one for raising sponsorship. As an adult I’ve only done it once before (Dublin Marathon 2003). On that occasion I did raise £1500 for the Alzheimer’s Society, as my father had died from that disease. But my mother was quite a driving force, holding a coffee morning and generally “forcing the pace”.

I think some of my negative attitude regarding sponsorship was down to my belief that asking someone to give you money, for doing something difficult, physically challenging, unpleasant and possibly life threatening (tragically so in April) was a bit silly. Why run 26 miles, when its quicker and more pleasant by taxi?!

My attitude now is more relaxed – asking for sponsorship for a challenge is an acceptable social formula for encouraging people to donate to a worthy cause. Consequently I feel quite confident asking people to sponsor me. I only started this week and have already I’ve got £50. Not feeling slightly embarrassed about asking friends and colleagues for money has made the process a lot easier!

As for swimming, I’ve been in the sea a few times, but its so cold and rough at the moment its hard to do any distance. And I find swimming in pools are so boring. But having made a commitment – and now got people to pledge money – it does ensure I’ll keep at it.

How do you make changes?

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legsAs I have touched on elsewhere, I am interested in self improvement generally – not just building great self confidence. But I have always had a big problem with self improvement products. Basically most are books, which follow the conventional format of a text book.

The problem with a book, or even an audio product, is people read (or listen) – but don’t act! Self improvement is about making changes. And a big part of that is changing habits…

“The second half of a mans life is made up of nothing but the habits he has acquired during the first half.” Dostoevsky

In compiling this blog I do genuinely want people to be able to be able to put some of these ideas into practice and make changes. But I remain concerned that even in a more dynamic format than a book, it remains easy to read and pass on – rather than act.

I have my own ideas about how to make change happen in our lives, which I will feature in future blogs. But having come across a blogging feature called a “meme” for the first time this week, I will use this to try and stimulate some discussion and ideas.

The meme theme is “if you wanted to improve your life by changing a habit – how would you set about it?”

I will tag a few people who blogs I admire and find useful to kick things off -but please add your own comments

Chris Garrett
Marcia S
Jason Golod
Gobala Krishnan
Julie Ann Bonner

Could you stop complaining for 21 days?

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One of the joys of living this side of the Atlantic is I have never seen “Oprah”. However – trying to find my way around Mybloglog.com I came across a great site called UnconditionalConfidence.com, run by Nancy Tierney.

Nancy reviewed an episode of Oprah that feature a Pastor, Will Bowen, who initially challenged his congregation to stop complaining for 21 days. He produced purple bracelets to help this happen, which you switch to your other wrist if you find yourself complaining. The goal is to leave the bracelet on the one wrist for 21 days.

Nancy takes the challenge further by suggesting finding 5 things to appreciate if you find yourself grumpy and complaining. I’ve never been one for wearing wrist bands, but I’ve sent for one as it sounds a great way of changing your underlying attitude.