Great Self Confidence

...to live the life you want

Review of Fabulous Self Esteem

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Fabulous Self Esteem

The above video is part of a promotion used for Amy Twain’s ebook, “Fabulous Self Esteem ~ Right About Now“. This is both well written and very contemporary.  She has lots of calls to action, some of which were new to me.

What I liked

Amy starts with an explanation of what self esteem is and how it differs from self confidence.  This is a useful introduction that illustrates how people try to sustain their self esteem with unsustainable strategies:-

“most individuals having low self esteem often-times depend on how they are doing presently to determine how they feel about themselves.”

The ebook also includes an eleven question quiz to help evaluate your self esteem. The first three chapters look at the origins of low self esteem and some of the common character traits, or facades, we don.  [Read more…]

Adjust your Attitude

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self confidenceAs we move towards year, and decade, end its a usual time to reflect and make plans (dare I say resolutions!) for 2010.  Last year, in When New Year Resolutions Break Down, I discussed not getting too hung up on 1st January as being the only time to set goals.  The more important part of that opening sentence is reflect – what can we learn from our experiences.

My own period of reflection is still a "work in progress", but one thing I'm going to work on in 2010 is my attitude. Self confidence is nothing if not an attitude – and what attitude you adopt is under your control. Here are a couple of examples.

Gill Hicks

Originally from Australia, Gill Hicks has lived in London since 1992.  Her life was totally transformed by the terrorist attack on London in July 2005 ("7/7") – as Gill put it she "started life number 2".  Standing close to the suicide bomber, she lost both her legs and nearly died – losing 80% of her blood and suffering 3 cardiac arrests in the aftermath. [Read more…]

Changing habits

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Car habitMy twin daughters are both learning to drive at present. I’ve only just recovered from helping my elder daughter learn, two years ago! If you drive, can you remember how strange it felt at first, how much concentration it demanded. Synchronizing gear and clutch, regulating your speed and direction, being aware of other road users and predicting their next move.

Today, I don’t consciously engage in the task of driving – likewise I don’t consciously think about how to tie up my shoe laces or walk (try thinking about how you walk and tell yourself out loud what to move!). Reflecting at my keyboard its quite frightening how we rely on our unconscious mind and embedded habits to propel a large metal box at great speed.

I have repeatedly touched on how much of what we do is habit. Our brains process millions of messages a day – putting most of our activities on automatic pilot makes us more efficient. If we did have to consciously engage in tying our shoe laces, or driving, then we would end up exhausted. [Read more…]

Unhelpful thinking – part 1

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self esteem dummies

Self Esteem Review

As there is no “Self Esteem for Dummies” (yet!) I have decided to partially fill the gap in the market. The first issue of my newsletter “Self Esteem Review” will be sent out later this week. For those of you who read my blog through the RSS feed, you need to visit my site to sign up for the free newsletter. The content will be different to the blog, including articles by other writers and reviews of other sites blog posts you may find useful.

Unhelpful Thinking

Several of my posts have focused on thinking – today I want to start looking at the link between how you feel and your thoughts. Ultimately, self esteem and self confidence are undermined by poor, unhelpful thinking habits.

Shoulds
There is something called the “tyranny of the shoulds”. Here we set ourselves up by saying “I should” or “ought to….” It is as though you believe that you need to threaten yourself to achieve anything. Its like using a big stick approach to yourself:- [Read more…]

How to Give a Presentation

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presentationThis last week I have been very busy, mainly because I was involved in two days of teaching where I had to present to nursing colleagues. Also on Good Friday I was involved in my local churches “Good Friday Workshop”, helping children to make hot cross buns!

Presenting, any form of standing in front of a group of people and talking, is something I used to hate. Performing in front of others – yuk. As a child my introvert personality and low self esteem meant I was always petrified at the thought of having to stand in front of the class and say anything.

I’m no expert on the works of Shakespeare – but I will forever know the 15th March as the “Ides of March”. At school (aged around 10) our class did a performance of Julius Caesar in which I was given (I would have preferred to have done nothing) the role of “Soothsayer” with one line “Beware the Ides of March”. Despite the fact that everyone else had far more complex lines and parts, and we were only doing the play to ourselves, I had problems remembering this simple line. I can still recall, 40 years later, not being able to say that simple line in rehearsal and having to write it on a piece of card. [Read more…]