Great Self Confidence

...to live the life you want

How to Have Great Self Confidence

by

In a funny sort of way, this blog is an example of gaining confidence in something simply by doing. And now, I've hit 100 posts. My early posts were considerably shorter than what I write now. 

But whether or not we believe other people, trusting ourselves should be simpler. Rational, unemotional, self assessment should tell us whether or not we have the skills and ability to do something. If the answer is yes – end of story? No, the story goes on.

Quite a few posts have been purely skills based – such as learning assertiveness, how to say no, how to improve your speaking voice, how to solve problems. But to date 24 posts have been tagged with "thinking" – automatic thoughts, irrational thinking, affirmations, worry. So much of our self confidence, our trust in ourselves, is undermined by our thinking. [Read more…]

Seven strange things you didn’t want to know

by

confident giraffeThis is my 99th post. The first to include a competition (now over) To date I have sprinkled the odd bit of personal information, trying to avoid being too self indulgent or bore you with irrelevant facts.

Recently I was asked to come up with 7 Strange but True Things about Me. So here I go (if you’re impatient, the competition is in point 7!)

1) I currently live 6 miles from where I was born; I’ve never lived more than about 5 miles from the sea, always along the South Coast of England. As far as I’m concerned, visiting London is “going up North”. One of the most important skills I learned at school was how to swim. Its never too late to learn if you can’t.

2) I ran the London marathon in 1998. The most traumatic part was the finish – I found myself running alongside three men dressed up as the Teletubbies, the popular children’s television characters. Suddenly I could see myself in my finishing photo, crossing the line with my arms raised in triumph – but as the fourth, missing, Teletubbie! The thought of being called Tinky Winky forever more spurred a sprint out of my tired legs. The thought of humiliation can be a great motivator. [Read more…]

Does your face convey confidence?

by

Does my photograph on the top right of this page give weight and authority to what I write? Or does it put you off, as I look a bit of a wimp? And if you subscribe by RSS you don’t have to look at me at all!

Researchers at Tufts University in Massachusetts have come up with an interesting take on faces. Using photographs of top and bottom Chief Executives of Fortune 1000 companies, they got their students to rate them as “powerful” or “warm”. They found:-

“CEO’s who are ranked higher in terms of looking more powerful do better or have more profitable companies than those who are ranked warm.”

So does your face determine your fate, as they suggest? [Read more…]

Self Confident men, Shy and Flamboyant

by

“Life’s a bit like mountaineering – never look down.” So said Sir Edmund Hillary, who reached the summit of Mount Everest in 1953. He was the first to reach the highest point on earth, an achievement for which he was forever linked. He died yesterday aged 88.

Whilst around 2000 have since reached the summit, when Hillary and Tenzing Norgay did so it had been seen as beyond man’s capability, previous expeditions having ground to a halt. As Hilary admitted:-

“We didn’t know if it was humanly possible to reach the top.“

Whatever image you have of Edmund Hillary, remember two facts about him. At school, he was in a gym group for those lacking co-ordination and admitted to feeling a “deep sense of inferiority”. A few years later he was apparently so shy that he proposed to his wife with a message via her mother. [Read more…]

Do you suffer from gluckschmerz?

by

Thought I’d step away from goals and resolutions and share with you two new words I’ve learned recently. Gluckschmerz, a German word that means feeling unhappy about the good fortune of others; and Schadenfreude – yes, you guessed it – also German, which means feeling pleasure at the suffering of others.

Sadly, the English language doesn’t always have the panache of other languages! We’re left with envy – perhaps the feeling does deserve such a short and ugly word. Does it affect you? If so, does it motivate you to work harder to achieve what the other person has got? Or, does it drag you down and undermine your self confidence?

Professor Richard Smith, University of Kentucky, said envy:-

“Occurs when we lack another’s superior quality, achievement or possession and desire it or wish the other lacked it. When we envy, we feel inferior, longing, resentment and ill-will to the advantaged person.”

Not holding back he goes on to say [Read more…]