Great Self Confidence

...to live the life you want

Any Parting Regrets You’d Like to Share?

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When you die, will it be full of regret at how you have lived your life? Will you have dreams unfulfilled – or pop off knowing you have lived your life to the full? May sound macabre, but death is one of the few certainties in life. However, you’d think we’ve forgotten we’re mortal the way we allow life to slip away.

The thoughts of those who know they have very limited time left have often been wake up calls to the rest of us.  I discussed Randy Pausch’s last lecture a couple of years ago – now over 14 million views on YouTube! His main message was

“never stop dreaming, never stop trying to achieve those dreams”

There has  been other work about the great truths to be found in the last moments of life, notably “Seize the Day” (formerly titled “Intimate Death”) by Marie de Hennezel.  From her work as a psychologist in palliative care her message is very much about making the most of life while we have it – not forgetting our mortality.

“You just need to realise that life is precious, and remember that every day.”

Regrets of the Dying

I have recently come across a blog written by someone else who has worked in palliative care. She also wrote down and collected the dying thoughts of those she cared for. And now the author, Bonnie Ware, has also published a book based around an article on her site:- Regrets of the Dying.

Whilst its well worth visiting her blog and reading the article, the 5 regrets she highlights are as follows:- [Read more…]

Say Thank You

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In the UK we don’t celebrate Thanksgiving, but to me it seems a great idea – a day set aside to say thank you.  That seems more meaningful than having an extra day holiday to celebrate a Royal Wedding, one participant of whom may by accident of birth be set to “rule” us!

say thank you
universal Thank You note

Some people keep a gratitude journal or diary, which at first seems a bit woo~woo or bound with religious practices. However, research has shown that such an activity does help. A study carried out at the University of California, Davis found that:-

In an experimental comparison, those who kept gratitude journals on a weekly basis exercised more regularly, reported fewer physical symptoms, felt better about their lives as a whole, and were more optimistic about the upcoming week compared to those who recorded hassles or neutral life events (Emmons & McCullough, 2003).

Research has also found “gratitude” benefits in goal attainment, grade scores of students, lower blood pressure and improve immune function. In fact Professor Emmons, co-author of that research and other experiments on gratitude says

“The evidence that cultivating gratefulness is good for people is overwhelming…gratitude enhances nearly all spheres of human experience”

[Read more…]

How to Stop Yourself Becoming Another Stress Statistic

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Last week I started a series of posts on stress, and below I have included an article that gives a very good overview of the impact of stress on our modern world. It also includes a few “calming techniques”, but I will return to this in the future.stress epidemic

The article author, Jennifer Summers, is also the writer of “The Ultimate Guide to Health & Happiness“, one of the few books that I have reviewed and recommended.

The Stress Epidemic

The statistics are truly shocking…

  • Over 19 million Americans are currently suffering from stress and anxiety related disorders.
  • Up to 75% of people in employment are dissatisfied or unhappy with their jobs.
  • Stress related accidents are increasing year on year.
  • Stress levels have increased substantially in children, teenagers and the elderly.
  • The majority of people that are suffering from such stress disorders refuse to seek medical help.
  • Stress is now considered to be a key factor in health complaints such as stomach disorders, certain cancers and heart condition. [Read more…]

Happiness & Health, the Ultimate Guide

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I’m quite sceptical of anything suggesting a route to happiness. I have often suggested techniques that might help, such as expressing gratitude on what is good in your life.

“Ask yourself whether you are happy, and you cease to be so.” J.S.Mill

happiness

And last week I discussed in Lets Celebrate that happiness can be a result of the  good experiences we accumulate. Celebrating being a great opportunity for a happy experience.

Ten Steps to Happiness

In my post How to Find Happiness I touched on the 10 things you can do that will make you happier. This list came from research within  a BBC show on happiness:-

Plant something and nurture it
Count your blessings – at least five – at the end of each day
Take time to talk – have an hour-long conversation with a loved one each week
Phone a friend whom you have not spoken to for a while and arrange to meet up
Give yourself a treat every day and take the time to really enjoy it
Have a good laugh at least once a day
Get physical – exercise for half an hour three times a week
Smile at and/or say hello to a stranger at least once each day
Cut your TV viewing by half
Spread some kindness – do a good turn for someone every day

The Ultimate Guide to Health and Happiness

So  I believe there are things you can do to improve your likelihood of being happy.  [Read more…]

Looking for Happiness – Time to Celebrate?

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We manage to fill our calenders with numerous opportunities to celebrate. Sometimes to mark personal achievement, milestones such as birthdays, or national festivals. But does celebrating make us happier?

Last month following an unexpected and dramatic win over Scotland, the Welsh rugby team celebrated their victory at their team hotel. Unfortunately for one player, Andy Powell, celebrations went a bit too far. He was arrested driving a golf buggy three miles from the hotel and failed an alcohol breath test. He has since been suspended from the Welsh team…

So how do you celebrate? Do you go out on a bender and end up engaging in dangerous behaviour that ruins your career and makes you the laughing stock of the country?!

Festivals we Celebrate

In We all Need to Celebrate I wrote about some of the different ways we celebrate different national or even international festivals.

Bonfire night, or Guy Fawkes night, celebrates a failed attempt to blow up the Houses of Parliament (our seat of Government) and the King of England in 1605. You could argue that Guy Fawkes, the plot leader, was an early terrorist and wonder at how different life may be today had he succeeded! When I was a child I loved Bonfire Night because we celebrated in our back garden and let off fireworks at will. Today, because of many serious accidents (to children in particular), Bonfire Night is mainly celebrated at organised displays (which I find very boring!)

Other festivals have either quite bizarre roots or involve very bizarre behaviour! Hallowe’en – celebrated in many countries – is perceived as a pagan festival of the dead, although it has its roots in earlier Christian festivals. [Read more…]