Great Self Confidence

...to live the life you want

Give yourself an Oscar

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reese1It’s the season for award ceremonies – particularly in the world of entertainment.  We’ve just had the Grammies and Bafta, not to mention SAG, Golden Globes, Emmys… the list is endless.   Tonight things reach a climax with the 81st Academy Awards, the Oscars.

Other industries do have awards, although there isn’t such a song and dance made about them. Good companies also have staff recognition schemes, where individuals or groups/teams have awards for “going the extra mile”. This normally would imply some achievement or additional effort that takes them beyond their basic job description.  Or benefits the organisation in some way in the eyes of its customers. [Read more…]

Can you take criticism?

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You may have noticed the new theme! Still quite basic as I haven’t started tweaking the customization facility. It will keep me busy next week. I will also add, my eldest daughter is 21 tomorrow. I’m both very proud, and feel very old!!!!!!!!!!

Not everyone agreed with last weeks criticism sandwich, some feeling giving praise at the same time weakens the message. Like everything I write on this blog, it is up to you to find what suits. There are no rules carved into stone saying how you “must” behave.

Like giving criticism, receiving criticism can be difficult if you have low self esteem. Looking back at assertiveness, our responses to criticism can follow the same behavioral patterns:-

Passive – we believe everything the person is saying

Indirect aggression – agree at the time or say nothing, but then go off and sulk or be critical to others about the person who criticized you.

Direct aggression – angrily deny and challenge everything that is said to you.

Criticism may be unfair – and when it is we need to counter it by putting our own case succinctly and calmly. [Read more…]

Using positive feedback (praise)

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Many years ago, when I first worked in a mental health team, the manager had a simple method of quality control. Whenever we discharged someone the team assistant would send out a letter asking for feedback and comments on how they had found the experience and whether the intervention helped. I’m sure this is common practice in other fields.

Apart from the obvious use of helping to audit the service, the manager encouraged us to copy any feedback letters we liked – i.e. the ones that said nice things about us! Her attitude was,

“There will be times when you’re having a bad day, nothing seems to go right and people complain about what you are doing. It’s nice to having something to remind you that you are actually very good at your job.”

This was my first community job and I remember having positive feedback to read did give me confidence and helped me progress. I reminded of this, because last week one of my staff left for pastures new and wrote me a lovely letter, thanking me and praising me for the support I had given her.

Rather than sticking the letter straight into her personnel file, I took a copy and have kept it my work action file – which I refer to daily. In a world full of negativity and criticism, we all have times when it’s nice to be reminded that we’re doing a good job. When someone gives you praise or thanks, capture it in some way, as we never know when we might need it. Its a great way of building self confidence.