Great Self Confidence

...to live the life you want

Confidence in your environment

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improve confidenceI recently joined a new forum – Personal Development Partners – which, although in its infancy, does seem to have the makings of a very useful place to share ideas. Do check it out (its free, although you can pay for more enhanced features). This post was inspired by a thread I contributed to this week, as I realised I hadn’t mentioned an important element in improving self confidence.

One of my previous jobs involved working in a prison that had been built in 1856. Working with the prisoners was generally fine, but the building was incredibly noisy and dirty, overcrowded and cramped. I also commuted by train – and my journeys were also in an environment that was noisy (occasionally dirty), overcrowded and cramped! This gradually wore me down and took away other satisfactions from the job. [Read more…]

Body language

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Some posts, such as the recent “Can you improve confidence with a smile” have touched on the importance of what we communicate with our body. I have read that 65% of the signals we send one another in conversation are visual rather than audible.

There are some common examples of poor body language that can convey a lack of confidence. Avoiding eye contact, looking downwards, having arms crossed, limp handshakes, excessive sweating… I’m sure you can think of others. [Read more…]

Can you improve self confidence with a smile?

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improve self confidence
 Everytime I see this photograph it makes me smile, which is why I’ve included it today. Reading my free book “How to improve self confidence“, one quote I liked was

Have you ever tried to smile and think of a negative thought? Usually the result is that one of the feelings will win out.

Try it and see! Basically humans cannot hold attention on more than one thought at a time – if you sit in front of a TV reading a newspaper, your attention flicks between the two, it doesn’t attend to both at the same time.

Positive thinking is cental to developing self confidence, and we will return repeatedly to ways of driving out negative thoughts. But smiling is simple, free, and something we all can do. Is your natural expression a smile or a frown? Observe other people – which ones look confident and at ease with the world?

If you go around with a frown you may find your too serious to let others near you! So smile – even if there is no reason to smile.

Great self confidence – by stripping?

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Well, I’ve heard it all now. The other day I read an article in “The Times” called Ooh, naught but nice which was basically about being taught how to do a striptease! The writer explains one of the reasons for having the lesson is

“to boost my body confidence.”

As for her teacher, a professional stripper,

“Her mission is to make women feel better about themselves”

Fortunately men appear to be excluded as “students” – presumably stripping won’t help our body confidence or make us feel better about ourselves!

Surprisingly, stripping lessons are endorsed by Lynda Field, who has written many self help books – including some very good ones on self esteem – who agrees it will help women like their bodies more. But the article ends with, in my opinion, a voice of sanity:-

“If a woman needs to feel good about herself, a focus on inner qualities, emotional and spiritual, would give her a more solid and long-lasting foundation in self-respect than learning to seduce herself in front of a mirror.”

So says Ingrid Collins, a Consultant Psychologist. Personally I’ve got nothing against stripping, but I certainly wouldn’t recommend it as a way of gaining self confidence.

Confidence – appearance

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Nicola & Sarah off to the PromOn Friday night my sixteen year old twin daughters had their “prom”. This is a strange event that has crept into British culture in recent years – whilst well established in America and elsewhere. Having completed their first major exams, these “children” dress in all their finery and have a party to end all parties – arriving in stretch Limos and dressed in all their finery.

My daughters, like most, had spent many months planning what they would be wearing and cajoling us to acquire various items of jewelry (a tiara!) on eBay!! As you can see, the result was stunning and they enjoyed the evening. But it made me reflect on the whole issue of what we look wear. Their confidence that evening was the result of all their effort into their appearance.

“Look a million dollars and you’ll feel a million dollars”. Giving a bit of attention to what you put on each day can pay dividends in terms of self confidence. OK, you don’t have to a wear a long dress, make up or a Dinner Jacket. But there are many simple ways to give your appearance a boost and feel good.