Great Self Confidence

...to live the life you want

Stop Worry, Start Writing

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Stop Worry

Are you a worrier? Worry generates stress, dampens self confidence and makes you feel bad. Can you stop worry? What it doesn’t do is solve problems – in fact worry doesn’t do anything useful as far as I can see.

stop worry
worry can hinder exam success

Worry comes under the umbrella of anxiety.  And we expect it to be at its worst in pressure filled situations, where we are most desperate to perform our best.  So for a presentation, exam or a race we can caught in a see-saw between confidence and worry as the consequences of performing badly are difficult to dismiss.

I have two daughters currently going through important University exams whose normal self confidence seems to be hiding away somewhere.  They were both revising throughout the Christmas holidays, yet are now gripped by fears of doing badly.  Telling them they may do worse by worrying won’t help either! [Read more…]

Adjust your Attitude

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self confidenceAs we move towards year, and decade, end its a usual time to reflect and make plans (dare I say resolutions!) for 2010.  Last year, in When New Year Resolutions Break Down, I discussed not getting too hung up on 1st January as being the only time to set goals.  The more important part of that opening sentence is reflect – what can we learn from our experiences.

My own period of reflection is still a "work in progress", but one thing I'm going to work on in 2010 is my attitude. Self confidence is nothing if not an attitude – and what attitude you adopt is under your control. Here are a couple of examples.

Gill Hicks

Originally from Australia, Gill Hicks has lived in London since 1992.  Her life was totally transformed by the terrorist attack on London in July 2005 ("7/7") – as Gill put it she "started life number 2".  Standing close to the suicide bomber, she lost both her legs and nearly died – losing 80% of her blood and suffering 3 cardiac arrests in the aftermath. [Read more…]

Challenging negative thoughts

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This post and Distract Yourself from Self Talk was inspired by a previous comment saying “how am I supposed to stop caring about what people think? It’s not a switch I can just turn off…”

I said there were two techniques, one – “distraction”, which featured in the Distract yourself post, and two – positive challenge. This second technique is equally simple in practice, you challenge the negative thoughts you are experiencing and come up with positive alternatives.

It is useful, whichever technique you use, to monitor your thoughts. keep a rough diary of what thoughts you get. The underlying principle is to get on top of what automatic thinking habits you have got. You may find all you negative thoughts center on just one problem. [Read more…]

How to Solve a Problem

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Most of us worry, or have worried, at some point. Some people do it constantly. A worry is yet another example of a negative thought getting in the way.
problem solving Unfortunately, as worries circulate in our mind they gain momentum, increasing in size and magnitude. What worrying doesn’t do is solve the problem.

Here are seven steps to solve any problem…

1) Identify and define clearly what the problem is.

Firstly – do it on paper (or a computer screen). Especially if you have a significant concern, its easier to get facts clear if you write things out. When you try to define your problem(s) you may find there isn’t actually a problem at all. If there is more than one, go through this process separately for each one. Be as specific as you can.

2) Generate possible solutions

This used to be called brainstorming – I think we’re now supposed to say “blue sky thinking”. Basically write down any ideas that occur to you without editing. Be as creative and as imaginative as possible. Get as many ideas down as you can. [Read more…]