Great Self Confidence

...to live the life you want

Review of Fabulous Self Esteem

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Fabulous Self Esteem

The above video is part of a promotion used for Amy Twain’s ebook, “Fabulous Self Esteem ~ Right About Now“. This is both well written and very contemporary.  She has lots of calls to action, some of which were new to me.

What I liked

Amy starts with an explanation of what self esteem is and how it differs from self confidence.  This is a useful introduction that illustrates how people try to sustain their self esteem with unsustainable strategies:-

“most individuals having low self esteem often-times depend on how they are doing presently to determine how they feel about themselves.”

The ebook also includes an eleven question quiz to help evaluate your self esteem. The first three chapters look at the origins of low self esteem and some of the common character traits, or facades, we don.  [Read more…]

Challenging negative thoughts

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This post and Distract Yourself from Self Talk was inspired by a previous comment saying “how am I supposed to stop caring about what people think? It’s not a switch I can just turn off…”

I said there were two techniques, one – “distraction”, which featured in the Distract yourself post, and two – positive challenge. This second technique is equally simple in practice, you challenge the negative thoughts you are experiencing and come up with positive alternatives.

It is useful, whichever technique you use, to monitor your thoughts. keep a rough diary of what thoughts you get. The underlying principle is to get on top of what automatic thinking habits you have got. You may find all you negative thoughts center on just one problem. [Read more…]

How to Solve a Problem

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Most of us worry, or have worried, at some point. Some people do it constantly. A worry is yet another example of a negative thought getting in the way.
problem solving Unfortunately, as worries circulate in our mind they gain momentum, increasing in size and magnitude. What worrying doesn’t do is solve the problem.

Here are seven steps to solve any problem…

1) Identify and define clearly what the problem is.

Firstly – do it on paper (or a computer screen). Especially if you have a significant concern, its easier to get facts clear if you write things out. When you try to define your problem(s) you may find there isn’t actually a problem at all. If there is more than one, go through this process separately for each one. Be as specific as you can.

2) Generate possible solutions

This used to be called brainstorming – I think we’re now supposed to say “blue sky thinking”. Basically write down any ideas that occur to you without editing. Be as creative and as imaginative as possible. Get as many ideas down as you can. [Read more…]

Thinking – automatic thoughts

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In irrational thinking I suggested that expecting thinking to act externally, and “attract” is somewhat flawed. I am more interested in how positive thinking acts internally. How we can improve self confidence and self esteem by changing our thoughts about ourselves. As a starting point I want to look in more detail at how our thinking evolves.

As we grow up, we are all subject to stimulation from those around us:- parents, siblings, teachers, peers, television, media, everyone…. Especially in our early years, the messages we receive formulate how we see the world, and our place in it. When we tried to stand up and walk, most of us got loads of encouragement – despite falling flat on our face – because this is something we should do and everyone around gets pleasure and excitement from seeing a child make its first steps.

The same happened with our first words. But as years go by, most children get far more negatives than positives – don’t do this/that, do be quiet, stop talking. How many parents encourage their children to talk more!! [Read more…]

Irrational thinking

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self esteem

Today I want to go into more depth on positive thinking – and what it can and cannot do. It might be easier to start with what it cannot do. You can find many out there who believe their is a “law of attraction“. By thinking and believing (or manifesting an intention as I’ve heard it called) you will attract into your life whatever you desire.

This is a totally irrational belief, which defies science and logic. Many will cite anecdotal examples of how this has worked for them – how their thinking (and manifesting) gained them a promotion, or suddenly brought money into their life. [Read more…]