Great Self Confidence

...to live the life you want

Self Esteem Building

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Good self esteem means having a good relationship with yourself. In the same way as we have good relationships with other people who are less than perfect, who have faults, so it is with ourselves. We don’t have to be perfect or wonderful. The trick is to appreciate and believe in ourselves, “warts and all”.

When I started this blog a year ago, I initially tried to cover self esteem and self confidence as one broad, somewhat interchangeable concept. The terms are confused and have different connotations in different cultures. Self esteem is a narrower concept, and really just boils down to the relationship between you – and yourself.

So with high self esteem we:- [Read more…]

How to Look Confident

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confident dogDo you look confident? If I spotted you are a social gathering, what would your body language say – “Go away, I don’t want to be here” or “Come and meet me”? I’ve read different statistics, but its fair to say over 70% of our communication is transmitted by our body language.

So how do you change your outer appearance, even if your self talk is still struggling to get over negative thoughts. Here are a few tips to practice:-

Start off with your feet at least 12 inches apart and have your weight even distributed between both feet. Also have your soles of your feet evenly planted on the ground – think of the ball of your foot, the heel and a point just below the little toe as a tripod, supporting the rest of your body. [Read more…]

A Christmas Carol

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On 19th December 1843 “A Christmas Carol” by Charles Dickens was first published. Over the years the story has been retold many times on stage, television and film. The main character Scrooge has entered our language to depict meanness – I used it in my last post, Free Christmas Present.

Scrooge is depicted as a financially wealthy character – a successful businessman – but someone who is a total failure in all other aspects of his life.

“External heat and cold had little influence on Scrooge. No warmth could warm, no wintry weather chill him. No wind that blew was bitterer than he, no falling snow was more intent upon its purpose, no pelting rain less open to entreaty.”

Being visited by the ghosts of Christmas past, present and future he is able to see the impact of his life on others, and the fact that no one would mourn his passing. [Read more…]

How to develop will power

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Since starting this blog I have reread some of my own books on self confidence and personal development, and generally researched and followed up links on the topic. Some I have made reference to, or quoted. I have paid particular attention to any source that has given exercises to build self confidence.

My aim is to build a resource that will be useful, not just interesting or entertaining. Reading books on any aspect of personal development I always feel they have a major drawback – when the reader is presented with an exercise to carry out, its so, so easy to turn over the page (promising ourselves to return to it later!).

Personal development involves change, and you won’t change by just passing by. If you do try to follow some of the exercises you come across another problem – changing habits usually involves effort, some discomfort, and will power. Surprisingly, few books even mention will power, suggesting that just once someone has embarked on a new course of action keeping going is simple. [Read more…]

Build a self confidence portfolio

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I’ve written a lot recently about thinking and self talk, in particular how we tend to automatically focus on negatives. This applies just as easily to confidence. If asked, most of us can list things we cannot do, areas we lack confidence without too much searching.

So lets start at the opposite end. How often do you remind yourself of what you are good at, or remind yourself of times when you felt totally confident? What we think about has a direct bearing on how we feel, our emotional state. And, yes its that habit word again. Getting in the habit of feeling confident is one simple way of raising your general expectation of yourself. [Read more…]