Great Self Confidence

...to live the life you want

Dealing with Perfectionism

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dealing with perfectionismPerfectionism came up as a comment on my last post, being good. It sounds fine – searching for the highest standards, being displeased with anything less than perfect. But it can lead to distress and self condemnation when you do anything thats less than perfect.

I’ve come across this interesting test that gives you a rating (%) of how much of a perfectionist you are. But most of us know whether or not we are perfectionists, and whether or not it you feel its an asset or hindrance.

There are differing theories as to where perfectionism comes from, some suggesting that there is a genetic component as it tends to run in families. But equally the behavior of parents towards children has a huge effect. If parents are strict, disciplinarians then children learn to fear making mistakes.

If a child only receives love or attention when successful – such as getting top marks in class, they will strive towards perfectionism in adulthood. To be loved, they have to be perfect. [Read more…]

How Self Conscious are YOU?

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Do you worry what others think about you? Are you afraid of looking a fool in public – of being a subject of ridicule? How self conscious are you? Would you stay inside rather than go out in scruffy, dirty clothes – or without make up?!

I have written before about how much looking good can help our confidence. If you look the part its easier to act it. But… Allowing our lives be dominated by what others think of us is of course something we should be avoid. However, its very easy to let this slip through – especially when we have established social codes of appearance that we adhere to as well.

I was recently taken with this story about a farmer, Rob Tavener, who practices tai chi in front of his herd of cows. He reckons that as animals are receptive to human moods, so the more relaxed and happy he is, the happier they are. And of course, the happier his cows are, the more milk they produce. [Read more…]

Do you believe the answers?

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Today I said I’d post the answers to the quiz I set within the Seven Strange Things post. Congratulations to Amy for getting the answers nearly all correct – as I explain below I don’t think you can find an answer to question (i) on the Internet. Here are the questions again:-

i) How many vertebrae does a giraffe have?
ii) Whose moment of flame came on 25th July 1992
iii) Which of Arthur Conan Doyle’s Sherlock Holmes Stories takes its name from a racehorse?
iv) What is the connection between Citizen Kane and The Brownies?
v) How many people have walked on the moon?
vi) What was the loudest noise ever recorded on earth?
vii) Who wrote the chart topping hit (for Maria Carey amoungst others) “Without You”

Answers:-
(i) Like most mammals the giraffe only has 7 vertebrae in its neck, but that wasn’t the question. Amy, like others before her, I assume found the website that erroneously states 24. The answer is between 45 and 51, slight variations taking place between species of giraffe.

When I originally set the quiz, 4 years ago, I had to go to a Natural History Museum (in Dublin) to count the vertebrae on a giraffe’s skeleton! That one had 48. The person who got the answer correct used to carry out postmortems on giraffes when working as a zoo pathologist… [Read more…]

Anxiety, Affirmations & Yaro

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affirmationsThis is the first time I have written about Yaro Starak, although he is probably someone whose work I have read more than anyone since I started this blog. Yaro writes about blogging – so whilst of interest to me, I have assumed he won’t be of interest to anyone visiting this site. If you do blog, Yaro has a free blueprint which is worth reading – I can also recommend his Blog Mastermind course when he next runs one.

I mention him, because I happened on one of his posts from 2006 called The Key to Happiness. Yaro doesn’t normally venture into self improvement posts, but I found it quite an eye opener. By accident, rather than design, my recent posts have all featured successful people who had overcome various adversities in their youth. I now found out that Yaro had suffered from panic attacks in his late teens and early twenties.

Anxiety related problems sometimes get short shrift in the media, as we all get anxious at times. Our physiological make up has programmed in a fight or flight response, so our body can get suitably “prepared” if confronted by danger. Unfortunately, this hasn’t evolved over the years to take on board that usually most of us don’t encounter life threatening danger – tigers and other wild animals are now enclosed in cages. [Read more…]

Stop feeling sorry for yourself

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Stephen Fry is always entertaining (to me anyway!) and usually gives interesting reflections on life:- 

This video has now been withdrawn from YouTube – copyright problems with the BBC!

You could have see it on You Tube My recent posts have highlighted the less than perfect starts of people who went on to great success in their chosen fields. Despite an affluent background, Stephen Fry described his teenage years as having a "tendency to lie, cheat and steal". So much so that at 18 he was sent to prison for 3 months for credit card fraud! 

[Read more…]