Great Self Confidence

...to live the life you want

10 Top Tips for Relaxation

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relaxationAs I write this I’m ending a frantic week trying to get everything together before we go on holiday (vacation) to Gozo. As you read this (if its around 27th July) I should be totally chilled (but also very hot!) as I relax on holiday. So with that in mind I thought I’d write a quick checklist of things you can do if to keep stress at bay and feel more relaxed.

Stress is a bit of a fashionable buzz word. There are similarities and links between stress and anxiety – both can lead to unpleasant, disabling symptoms. When we feel stressed we often feel out of control of the situation – which undermines our self confidence. So try these ten easy relaxation tips to feel more relaxed and in control.

1. Take a short break and leave a stressful situation. If you are at work, offer to run an errand or go for a short walk. A few minutes away can help you think clearly and the walk will get rid of some of the tension in your body. [Read more…]

Unhelpful thinking – part 2

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gozo self confidence Through the wonders of WordPress this post is appearing whilst I am 1200 miles from home on the Mediterranean Island of Gozo (part of Malta). Please leave comments, but they won’t appear till my return (unless I need to hide from the heat and find an Internet Cafe!)

As I said in part 1, self confidence and self esteem are undermined by poor, unhelpful thinking habits. These are things we all do to some extent – don’t mentally beat yourself up if you recognize things you do. Noticing a habit is the first step to changing it. The second is to tell yourself an alternative thought and practice using it.

Mental Filter

This is focusing on single events, or single details, and allowing them to color all your thinking. Unfortunately you exclusively chose negative details to focus on. For example, if you make a mistake you ignore all the successes and good things you did. [Read more…]

Self Confidence on Google News

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google-self-confidenceI use Firefox as my browser – which I would recommend to anyone as it has many useful pugins you can add. Its also supposed to be safer than Internet Explorer. One feature you can use on either Firefox or IM is Google/ig. This allows you to create a personalized home page and populate it with a variety of features – from games or news feeds to RSS feeds or weather forecasts.

I enclose a screenshot of my “IG” page – which includes a feed from Google news. As well as “Top Stories” and in my case “UK” and “Health”, I can add interests like “Self Confidence” and “Self Esteem”.

Some of the stories classed as “self confidence” have little merit But just looking at this mornings pick, the feed leads to some fascinating and informative stories.

I’m no great tennis fan. My colleague at work had Centre Court tickets in the first week of Wimbledon, which left me cold. But I did see a large chunk of the mens final, and cannot help but admire the skill of the Nadal & Federer.

The link from Google News is to an article in The Times (London) reflecting on Wimbledon [Read more…]

Achieve your Goals with a Compass

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yellow-confidence We’ve just started the second half of 2008, and some of us have just reached a landmark of a different kind – hitting the big five oh! A time to review and reset goals? I have written about goal setting quite a few times, especially about six months ago when everyone was setting goals and resolutions:-

In Are goals necessary? I reflected that I have had mixed success with goal setting and in my career I have taken opportunities rather than following a clear plan – so why be “SMART”?

Do you have passion or desire? discussed the concept of a “road map” – all the rage in December – and looked at getting excited about making changes, finding passion or desire.

Do you have a dream – concluded goals are necessary, but insufficient. We need some inner drive or passion.

Why haven’t you set goals? did address the balance with arguments in favor of goals and reasons people don’t set them.

In Achieving goals with support I used the example of goal setting being like using a GPs unit. For the first time I mentioned how coaching, or using support, could be helpful to get us to where we want to be.

Recently I have been coached and I have been coaching someone myself – more of which some other time. A broad definition of life coaching that I had been using is

“unlocking a persons potential to maximize their own performance. Its helping them to learn rather than teaching them.”
(Tim Gallway, quoted by Whitmore in Coaching for Performance)

I’ve recently adopted a broader definition “helping facilitate growth and change“ as coaching is something that is happening all the time. As I argued in achieving goals with support a friend or family member may “coach” you and help you achieve or change, but do so through everyday conversation. [Read more…]

Changing habits

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Car habitMy twin daughters are both learning to drive at present. I’ve only just recovered from helping my elder daughter learn, two years ago! If you drive, can you remember how strange it felt at first, how much concentration it demanded. Synchronizing gear and clutch, regulating your speed and direction, being aware of other road users and predicting their next move.

Today, I don’t consciously engage in the task of driving – likewise I don’t consciously think about how to tie up my shoe laces or walk (try thinking about how you walk and tell yourself out loud what to move!). Reflecting at my keyboard its quite frightening how we rely on our unconscious mind and embedded habits to propel a large metal box at great speed.

I have repeatedly touched on how much of what we do is habit. Our brains process millions of messages a day – putting most of our activities on automatic pilot makes us more efficient. If we did have to consciously engage in tying our shoe laces, or driving, then we would end up exhausted. [Read more…]