Great Self Confidence

...to live the life you want

Start Making Friends

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One thing I have never particularly enjoyed is making “small talk” with strangers. Everywhere we go we are surrounded by new people (a nicer term than strangers) – just try walking down a shopping street. Most of the time we make little effort to interact with them. “Small talk” situations arise socially or at work when we are thrown into a confined space with these new people, and feel we have to interact to be polite.

Yesterday I had to go one stage beyond making small talk. As part of my photography course we went to a local market to do a social documentary project. It was suggested we politely ask stall holders if they minded having their photograph taken before shoving a camera in their face!

It was an interesting morning. Before setting off, most of us expressed misgivings about approaching total strangers and asking if we could take their photograph. We joked about being arrested or punched for our trouble – trying to hide the fact that we weren’t particularly confident. Even our tutor, Simon Lawrence – an experienced photo journalist – reflected on how such situations can create tension.

The worst thing that could happen did – [Read more…]

Authority Blogging

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Sometimes my posts have veered off topic or had only a tenuous link to self confidence or self esteem. This post is more of a reflection on why I blog and how I would like to improve things over the next year. I started blogging at the end of March 2007. So as this is a sort of anniversary, please forgive any self indulgence.

In my recent tinkering and upgrading of this site, I have also added a couple of advertising “widgets”. Whilst I don’t expect this blog to generate any significant income, like most I’m used to getting financially rewarded when I do work that benefits others.

My previous hesitancy was whether putting adverts or affiliate links on my blog would dilute its “authority”. That sounds totally pretentious – and has probably knocked my authority for six anyway! But that was something I picked up in my early days learning how to be a blogger.

The work authority has come up a few times for me recently. Initially I was inspired to write a post for a competition, about being an Authentic Blogger, by Chris Garrett. Despite being someone I would describe as an authority himself Chris responded to my first attempt at a meme. Consequently I’ve been an avid reader of his daily blogging ever since!

Over the past weekend I found myself struggling when trying to explain why I started a blog. I was on a Coaching for Occupational Therapists course – all of us experienced, professional people who are embarking on training that will give us expertise to practice in a related field. [Read more…]

Self Esteem Building

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Good self esteem means having a good relationship with yourself. In the same way as we have good relationships with other people who are less than perfect, who have faults, so it is with ourselves. We don’t have to be perfect or wonderful. The trick is to appreciate and believe in ourselves, “warts and all”.

When I started this blog a year ago, I initially tried to cover self esteem and self confidence as one broad, somewhat interchangeable concept. The terms are confused and have different connotations in different cultures. Self esteem is a narrower concept, and really just boils down to the relationship between you – and yourself.

So with high self esteem we:- [Read more…]

How to Give a Presentation

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presentationThis last week I have been very busy, mainly because I was involved in two days of teaching where I had to present to nursing colleagues. Also on Good Friday I was involved in my local churches “Good Friday Workshop”, helping children to make hot cross buns!

Presenting, any form of standing in front of a group of people and talking, is something I used to hate. Performing in front of others – yuk. As a child my introvert personality and low self esteem meant I was always petrified at the thought of having to stand in front of the class and say anything.

I’m no expert on the works of Shakespeare – but I will forever know the 15th March as the “Ides of March”. At school (aged around 10) our class did a performance of Julius Caesar in which I was given (I would have preferred to have done nothing) the role of “Soothsayer” with one line “Beware the Ides of March”. Despite the fact that everyone else had far more complex lines and parts, and we were only doing the play to ourselves, I had problems remembering this simple line. I can still recall, 40 years later, not being able to say that simple line in rehearsal and having to write it on a piece of card. [Read more…]

How to Look Confident

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confident dogDo you look confident? If I spotted you are a social gathering, what would your body language say – “Go away, I don’t want to be here” or “Come and meet me”? I’ve read different statistics, but its fair to say over 70% of our communication is transmitted by our body language.

So how do you change your outer appearance, even if your self talk is still struggling to get over negative thoughts. Here are a few tips to practice:-

Start off with your feet at least 12 inches apart and have your weight even distributed between both feet. Also have your soles of your feet evenly planted on the ground – think of the ball of your foot, the heel and a point just below the little toe as a tripod, supporting the rest of your body. [Read more…]