Great Self Confidence

...to live the life you want

Self Esteem Building

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Good self esteem means having a good relationship with yourself. In the same way as we have good relationships with other people who are less than perfect, who have faults, so it is with ourselves. We don’t have to be perfect or wonderful. The trick is to appreciate and believe in ourselves, “warts and all”.

When I started this blog a year ago, I initially tried to cover self esteem and self confidence as one broad, somewhat interchangeable concept. The terms are confused and have different connotations in different cultures. Self esteem is a narrower concept, and really just boils down to the relationship between you – and yourself.

So with high self esteem we:- [Read more…]

How to Give a Presentation

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presentationThis last week I have been very busy, mainly because I was involved in two days of teaching where I had to present to nursing colleagues. Also on Good Friday I was involved in my local churches “Good Friday Workshop”, helping children to make hot cross buns!

Presenting, any form of standing in front of a group of people and talking, is something I used to hate. Performing in front of others – yuk. As a child my introvert personality and low self esteem meant I was always petrified at the thought of having to stand in front of the class and say anything.

I’m no expert on the works of Shakespeare – but I will forever know the 15th March as the “Ides of March”. At school (aged around 10) our class did a performance of Julius Caesar in which I was given (I would have preferred to have done nothing) the role of “Soothsayer” with one line “Beware the Ides of March”. Despite the fact that everyone else had far more complex lines and parts, and we were only doing the play to ourselves, I had problems remembering this simple line. I can still recall, 40 years later, not being able to say that simple line in rehearsal and having to write it on a piece of card. [Read more…]

How to improve your speaking voice

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help confidenceHaving touched on this last week in Do you sound confident I thought I’d go straight in and include some exercises to improve your speaking voice. But this is a vast subject – like any aspect of self improvement there is no quick fix. Also, there is no one way or one definitive set of exercises.

Firstly, I suggested practicing speaking out loud. This can be to rehearse what you want to say, getting yourself mentally sharper. But it also has the benefit of toning our “speaking” muscles. Lax muscles of the lips, tongue and cheeks can be toned the same way as any other muscle – by exercise.

Its worth coming back to another of my favourite topics – habits. We tend to get in the habit of using our bodies in whatever ways are easiest, and by copying those around us. Through laziness we slouch and stoop, and adopt to the weight we are carrying. Our speech is also a result of poor habits. Speaking clearly takes more effort than muttering or mumbling through hardly opened lips. Or grunting! Unless corrected our tongue, lips and cheeks take the line of least effort. [Read more…]

Expressing opinions

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improve self confidence

As well as expressing feelings, another thing that we can avoid if we lack self-confidence is expressing opinions. If you are asked for an opinion, the simplest route is to give honestly and without apologizing. This is an area where if you are in the habit of trying to please others, you’re going to have to make some changes!

If you try to avoid offending or upsetting people by agreeing with them all the time, then you will never command any respect from them – or yourself. As with feelings, keep it simple and personalize – [Read more…]

the wedding – part 2

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Kevin & SheilaReturning to the wedding we went to last week there were two scenarios played out that typified how confidence is “all in the mind”. The bridegroom’s son was his best man and, as tradition dictates was required to give the final speech. I don’t know the guy, but it was clear he was petrified! But he had clearly done preparation and knew his topic well, and it appeared knew a significant number of the guests to feel “amongst friends”.

He delivered a good speech well, despite lacking confidence in his ability. I am sure he would have enjoyed the event more, and delivered his speech even better, if he had tackled his anxieties to some degree with some positive reassurance, which I highlighted yesterday.

The other interesting thing at the wedding was the photographer. The couple had decided they didn’t want a professional photographer, but asked a friend to take some photographs for them. Having done this myself many years ago at my sisters wedding, I assumed the lady concerned would be as nervous as the best man. But despite (or because of?) only having a compact digital camera, and doing something I assume she had not done before, the lady concerned looked cool as a cucumber and looked to be enjoying the occasion.

I didn’t speak to her, but my impression was that she didn’t see herself stepping into the shoes of a professional photographer, but taking a few “snaps” for her friends – as she would do anyway as a guest. In her mind there was nothing to worry or get anxious about. She knew how to take photographs on her camera  and that was all she was expected to do! She tackled the task with confidence, as there was no reason for her to doubt her ability.