Great Self Confidence

...to live the life you want

Nothing More Sexy than Self Confidence

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Every now and then I read something that makes me smile and feel good. Doesn't happen that often, so I'm going to share an article I've just read. Its by Kathryn Martyn and entitled Sexy People Have This: Do You? I've taken one of her subtitles as my title as, really, there is nothing as sexy as self confidence!

I see myself as beautiful because that’s how I want to see myself. You could say I’m my own best friend. I build myself up, rather than tear myself down. I do the same thing regarding health so even if I feel lousy, I’m more likely to say (if asked), that I feel fine, thank you very much. It’s a mental game, yes, but it’s a game I play to win. I believe (which makes it true for me) that if I tell myself positive things, then positive things will follow.

I have no idea what Kathryn looks like, or how old she is. But I do know she looks awesome – because that's how she chooses to look. She briefly mentions self talk and challenging the negative inner voice. But the main message is to establish from the outset that you are beautiful. [Read more…]

All You Need to Know about Bad Habits

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If you don’t have any bad habits you can skip reading this.

build self confidenceYou’re still here. Good! You’ve taken the first step in identifying your bad habits by admitting you have them. They didn’t seem so bad at first. The bad habits were just insignificant and you could break them any time you want. You’ve heard about the guy who could stop smoking anytime he wanted. He’s done it many times.

Habits, by their nature are comfortable and easy to slip into. Bad habits have a way of doing that – getting easier. Bad habits are a lot like drugs, they’re addictive and you find a way to rationalize them.

In a comment on a past post I noted that 85% of what we do each day is “unconscious”. I have no idea where I got that statistic from, but even if wide of the mark it illustrates how much we rely on habits to cope with our daily lives.

Which Bad Habits Undermine Self Confidence?

The question is, of course, how much of your low self esteem or self confidence is down to bad habits. [Read more…]

Are we being pathetic?

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Its somewhat ironic when a newspaper writes at length about how we have become obsessed by risks, and fear is a “constant companion”. With the headline “Scared to death? The REAL worry is today’s culture of fear”

fear2I’m sure the Daily Mail wouldn’t dream of adding to, or capitalise from, any of the fears that plague us today?!

I like this quote from a Professor of Sociology, Frank Furedi, who they have wheeled out for the article:-

“These days we live in constant fear, it is always lurking in the background. We live in terror of disease, abuse, stranger danger, environmental devastation, terrorism, even the sun. We cannot even enjoy the most simple pleasure – the sun – without hearing these warnings about skin cancer.

Likewise eating and food has become a morally charged activity. The massive growth of fear-mongering campaigns and crusades during the past quarter- century is unprecedented. The result is that it diminishes our experience of being alive, it forces us to engage with the world as pathetic individuals who can’t cope with the problems of everyday life.“

Wow Frank, don’t hold back! [Read more…]

Are Affirmations Useless?

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Its 150 years since the publication of what is now regarded as the first self help book – Samuel Smiles “Self Help“.  Still on sale today – and apparently a big seller in countries such as Japan and China.  selfhelp1But when first published it sold 20,000 copies in its first year, and by the time of Smiles death in 1902 had sold over 1/4 million copies. In the 19th Century it was only out sold by the Bible!

In a recent radio program it was said Smiles book was published on the same day as “On Origin of Species” by Charles Darwin.  I cannot find any other proof of that fact. Either way,  it could be that Smiles message “Heaven helps those who help themselves” was reassuring to a society held together by Christian beliefs.

But the underlying message from Smiles was that success came through dedication and hard work.  He didn’t appear to believe in the concept of “genius”, all those he portrayed in his case studies got there by hard graft and application. Interestingly, this is a central theme of Malcolm Gladwell’s latest book, Outliers.

The End of Self Help?

oprah1I write this as some have been predicting the end of self help, [Read more…]

Self Confidence Built into Genes? I don’t agree

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andymThere has been some recently published research that suggests that there is now a genetic basis to self confidence.  Originally in “Psychological Science”,  but picked up worldwide, this research compared pairs of twins – half identical, half non-identical – usually the benchmark for sound academic research.

I’ve not seen the source article with the full methodology, only the reports, but the main researcher Professor Plomin is extensively quoted.  However, he made the mistake of getting carried away by the Andy Murray fever that was gripping Britain last week to use Wimbledon to illustrate his theory:-

‘Everyone has assumed self confidence is a matter of environment.

‘Our research shows that it is certainly genetically influenced and that self confidence predicts achievement at school. It is the same in sport and we see it at Wimbledon.

‘A lot of the players are very good but there is something that goes beyond mere ability and it is the confidence in that ability.

‘Andy Murray seems to have amazing self belief whereas we all remember Tim Henman would play a few poor points and it seemed he would crumble – that difference may well be genetic.’ [Read more…]