Great Self Confidence

...to live the life you want

Confidence is Crucial

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Well, what happened to January? Suddenly a twelfth of 2009 has been and gone, never to return.  Despite the miserable weather (its just started snowing), credit crunch and post Christmas slump I’ve quite enjoyed January. Its been a time of reflection, planning and generally rebuilding. Rather than embarking on over optimistic goals (or resolutions) it great to stop and think where you are and what is important to you. A calender year doesn’t have to be the boundary for setting goals. Reflecting on this blog and newsletter, Self Esteem Review, and how best to move forward I came across this quote in a book I’m currently reading:-

People who lack confidence and self belief always underachieve. They’re less adventurous and less likely to get the most out of life. They’re more prone to a variety of stress related problems, including anxiety, eating disorders and mental health problems. Low self esteem is the fundamental cause of most family breakups, poor parenting and relationship problems. In addition, much crime is associated with drug abuse, unemployment, poverty and aimlessness, all of which are related to low self esteem.

365 Steps to Self Confidence, David Lawrence Preston Well, that’s quite a powerful endorsement of the importance of building great self confidence and self esteem – and its just from his introduction! [Read more…]

Make Every Day Count

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One of the first personal development books I ever bought (the Magic of Psychic Power!) had a number in it that shocked me so much that I have remembered it ever since – 25,500. That, according to author David J Schwartz was the average number of days someone lives.  (Life expectancy in the developed world has increased; in Japan it’s now around 82 years, near enough 30,000 days)

When I first read that figure, aged around the age of 20, it seemed such a small figure. Now 30 years – or 11,000 days – later I’m rapidly eating into my allotment, if I’m lucky enough to get an average quota.

The film American Beauty has a nice twist on the famous poster quote:-

“Remember those posters that said, “Today is the first day of the rest of your life?” Well, that’s true with every day except one: the day that you die….”

In the chapter of Schwartz’s book, he further illustrates his point by saying that every day 5500 Americans die (it’s a generally cheerful, uplifting book!). [Read more…]

Who are you linked to?

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If I had to chose a secondary theme for this blog it would be happiness. One of my favorite posts is how to find happiness, which started as a response to someone else’s happiness project. In this I cite a project run by the BBC in 2005, Making Slough Happy, where they try to do just that – make the residents of a nondescript British town happy.

There is more information on that post and on the BBC page, but the conclusion they came to was there were ten steps to happiness:-

Plant something and nurture it
Count your blessings – at least five – at the end of each day
Take time to talk – have an hour-long conversation with a loved one each week
Phone a friend whom you have not spoken to for a while and arrange to meet up
Give yourself a treat every day and take the time to really enjoy it
Have a good laugh at least once a day
Get physical – exercise for half an hour three times a week
Smile at and/or say hello to a stranger at least once each day
Cut your TV viewing by half
Spread some kindness – do a good turn for someone every day

One important factor seems to have been overlooked from this research. [Read more…]

Does it matter what you look like?

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An obese human male.I recently came across this article – The Best Way to Gain Confidence – where the author (Steve Hill)  briefly describes his attempt and success at gaining self confidence and overcoming low self esteem. He outlined his problem thus:-

I had a speech impediment, commonly referred to as a stutter or stammer. I was desperate, for some unknown reason, to be liked and was basically paranoid about what other people thought of me. I had a bald patch on my head and I am also quite short in height in comparison to the average male. I was also over-weight.

Steve goes into detail about his efforts to lose weight and overcome his stutter. He somewhat breezes over his paranoia and negative thinking…

I had to learn how to become a far more care-free person and to accept that not everyone will like me. I had to become a positive thinker and to ignore the negative voices in my head.

…not exactly explaining how he achieved this!

But what fascinated me was his dealing with his lack of height and his bald patch:-

I unfortunately had to accept my lack of height and also the fact that I would have a bald patch on my head for the rest of my life as there was nothing that I could do to change them.

There was nothing I could do to change them. So Steve [Read more…]

The Secret to Self Confidence is Ancient

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I have a basic principle of not promoting anything I haven't purchased and used myself. This is a review of an ebook I purchased, but then got my money back on!:-

Secrets to Self Confidence

I recently purchased this ebook as the sales page promised much:-

Each day, you will have a short but profound paragraph to read and consider, a simple exercise to complete and a memory verse to memorize. That’s it, follow this plan and with just minutes of effort a day, you will develop a strong magnetic, self-confident personality in no time at all.

However  Secrets to Self Confidence suffers a quite few drawbacks. its quite evident that the book was written some time ago – there is no clue as to whom the author James Stephenson is, but there is a preface dated 1910!  This is the start of Chapter 3 (The Cure of Self-Consciousness) :-

The student should aim here to develop definiteness of idea, sincerity of expression, and concentration of mind. Nothing leads so quickly to hesitation and embarrassment in a speaker as mental uncertainty. To speak confidently, he must not guess, or imagine, or take for granted, he must know. Lack of proper mental equipment is responsible for a large part of the fearfulness of men. One who really knows whereof he speaks, and is absolutely sure of it, is likely to be sure of himself. It manifests itself in his voice, his use of words, his manner, and his entire personality.

On the same page he goes on to quote Newman's "definition of a gentleman"! I don't know who Newman was, but like many other quotes used, it dates the text horribly. [Read more…]