Great Self Confidence

...to live the life you want

8 Ways to Start Faking It

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A common  method suggested to build self confidence is to “fake it till you make it”. Easier said than done. Here’s a few ideas.

Practice

The old saying “practice makes perfect” could be rewritten “practice makes confident”. It may sound obvious, but in this day and age practicing a skill seems to be overlooked. We forget we weren’t born able to walk or talk!

I touched on practice a few weeks ago in my post on activity. What I like about the use of magic tricks, as opposed to ballet and karate is that the children could perform confidently after a short period of time. But, they still needed to practice to get there. Practice only makes permanent what you practice – good or bad. My daughter practicing her singing is a case where bad may become permanent!

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Since I started writing this post, I’ve just come across this article on the importance of practice

[Read more…]

10 Top Tips for Relaxation

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relaxationAs I write this I’m ending a frantic week trying to get everything together before we go on holiday (vacation) to Gozo. As you read this (if its around 27th July) I should be totally chilled (but also very hot!) as I relax on holiday. So with that in mind I thought I’d write a quick checklist of things you can do if to keep stress at bay and feel more relaxed.

Stress is a bit of a fashionable buzz word. There are similarities and links between stress and anxiety – both can lead to unpleasant, disabling symptoms. When we feel stressed we often feel out of control of the situation – which undermines our self confidence. So try these ten easy relaxation tips to feel more relaxed and in control.

1. Take a short break and leave a stressful situation. If you are at work, offer to run an errand or go for a short walk. A few minutes away can help you think clearly and the walk will get rid of some of the tension in your body. [Read more…]

How to Solve a Problem

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Most of us worry, or have worried, at some point. Some people do it constantly. A worry is yet another example of a negative thought getting in the way.
problem solving Unfortunately, as worries circulate in our mind they gain momentum, increasing in size and magnitude. What worrying doesn’t do is solve the problem.

Here are seven steps to solve any problem…

1) Identify and define clearly what the problem is.

Firstly – do it on paper (or a computer screen). Especially if you have a significant concern, its easier to get facts clear if you write things out. When you try to define your problem(s) you may find there isn’t actually a problem at all. If there is more than one, go through this process separately for each one. Be as specific as you can.

2) Generate possible solutions

This used to be called brainstorming – I think we’re now supposed to say “blue sky thinking”. Basically write down any ideas that occur to you without editing. Be as creative and as imaginative as possible. Get as many ideas down as you can. [Read more…]

Have a dump to build confidence

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We all have experiences we would rather forget about. Times when we made a fool of ourselves, died with embarrassment, did something that we never want to go through again. But we do – it seems so easy to recall these events in our mind and replay them over and over.

Moving on from bad experiences is important if we’re to feel good about ourselves. One technique is to literally “dump” the experience. Write it down, draw it, or get some other physical representation of that memory. Then dispose of it – screw it up, tear it up, bin it, burn it, flush it – the choice is yours.

Doing something symbolic is our way of telling ourselves that its time to move on. If the experience tries to creep back into our memory – we can shut it out quickly by recalling how we dumped it and move on.

An Inspirational Thought

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I subscribe to a fairly eclectic mix of newsletters, or ezines. One recent addition is called Kickstart Today and this is a quote from a recent edition:-

An Inspirational Thought

There is a little voice in our heads that acts as a
valve: whenever we start to get too enthusiastic,
motivated or inspired, the little voice tries to close
down the flow.

That voice is called doubt.

Even the most positive among us have this annoying
little creature living inside our skulls.

We can live with doubt – and forever limit our actions
(and hugely restrict our potential). Or, we can learn
to ignore the voice. It shouts pretty loud though.

Even better, we can overwhelm it.

Daily affirmations are one such tool we can easily use
to drown out the voice of doubt. Every time we repeat
to ourselves that we are successful, smart, proactive,
healthy, wealthy or … (fill in your own blank), the
voice of doubt becomes weaker.

When your affirmations shout and your voice of doubt
whispers, your success in whatever you desire will be
assured.

Thanks to Martin Avis (who also has a good blog!) for letting me quote his newsletter. I will return to affirmations and a technique to capture them tomorrow. Getting in the habit of using positive statements about ourselves is a key factor in obtaining great self confidence.