Great Self Confidence

...to live the life you want

People are Awesome

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Peak Moments

Take 60 seconds and write down the peak moments in your life. Chris Guillebeau, on whose excellent blog that suggestion came defines a peak moment:-

… as a fixed point in time that has strong, positive memories. You summited the mountain! You achieved something monumental! Things will be different now.

Apart from the obvious landmarks, like getting married or having children, most peak moments are time when we stepped well out of our comfort zone. I wrote about one of my peak moments (although I didn’t label it as such at the time) when swimming beneath the Azure Window in Gozo a couple of years ago.

If you do the exercise, how many peak moments were accompanied at some point by strong feelings of anxiety or even fear? I can report from memory, 25 years on, that getting married generates much anxiety for the main participants!

Lets Scare Ourselves

Happy Halloween
Happy Halloween

As I write this we approach Halloween and there is the usual glut of horror films on TV. Personally I’ve never enjoyed the genre; likewise I’ve never enjoyed the adrenaline rush people get from riding roller coasters.

But just as our peak moments lead to extra adrenaline pumping around our body, as we prepare to fight or flight from danger, we do seek it as well by deliberately submitting ourselves to fear and terror. [Read more…]

How to Deal with Fear

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Life is a constant journey through variables we cannot control, however well prepared.

fear
Tony Blair

Learning to tolerate uncertainty is the key factor in building great self confidence. Unfortunately fear of “what might happen next” – the feeling of uncertainty – can be very unpleasant.

Tony Blair, Driven by Fear

“On 2 May 1997, I walked into Downing Street as prime minister for the first time. I had never held office… my predominant feeling was fear.”

Tony Blair, Prime Minister in the U.K. for 10 years until 2007, published his memoirs (“A Journey”) earlier this year.  I haven’t read them, probably never will, but found it impossible to avoid the  discussion they provoked. What has startled many has been his candid admission that the principal driver behind many of his decisions was fear. In a excellent review psychologist Geoffrey Beattie  sums up:-

“Blair became a master at masking his true emotional state, hiding his terror with that masking smile.”

Yes, that “masking smile” – but hiding terror! What is most amazing is that Blair was always perceived as very relaxed and a great communicator. Yet, as he states, he “never relaxed for a moment.”  Even when he “kept a strong grip on himself” during the day

“I would wake in the morning with the hair on the back of my head damp with sweat. What I could control when awake was overpowering in sleep.” [Read more…]

Stress from Mobile Phones

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The other evening my wife and I went for a walk at a local beauty spot. It was a lovely, late summer evening and quite a few others were making the most of the occasion. But one thing got my attention. For about 5 minutes everyone we passed, young and old, had a mobile (cell) phone pressed to their ear!

Because of the advantages of phones, being able to contact help in an emergency for instance, we tend to view them as helpful, even essential tools.  A UK survey in 2008 introduced a new word to me “nomo-phobia” – fear or anxiety of being out of mobile phone contact! This apparently affects 53% of mobile phone users – 20% saying such a scenario would be as stressful as moving house or breaking up with a partner.

The same survey had 20% of the 2163 questioned saying they never switched off their phone, 10% saying their job required them to be contactable at all times. [Read more…]

How to Stop Yourself Becoming Another Stress Statistic

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Last week I started a series of posts on stress, and below I have included an article that gives a very good overview of the impact of stress on our modern world. It also includes a few “calming techniques”, but I will return to this in the future.stress epidemic

The article author, Jennifer Summers, is also the writer of “The Ultimate Guide to Health & Happiness“, one of the few books that I have reviewed and recommended.

The Stress Epidemic

The statistics are truly shocking…

  • Over 19 million Americans are currently suffering from stress and anxiety related disorders.
  • Up to 75% of people in employment are dissatisfied or unhappy with their jobs.
  • Stress related accidents are increasing year on year.
  • Stress levels have increased substantially in children, teenagers and the elderly.
  • The majority of people that are suffering from such stress disorders refuse to seek medical help.
  • Stress is now considered to be a key factor in health complaints such as stomach disorders, certain cancers and heart condition. [Read more…]

Self Confidence from Failure

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I don’t know about you, but I dislike the word failure. It’s very negative and, to me, sounds quite final. However…

Failure and rejection won’t kill you. You may think that it does and it may feel like it almost will just after it has happened. But it won’t. Instead it makes you stronger. It makes you more confident in yourself.

That’s a quote from Henrik Edberg on his ever successful Positivity blog.  failureCoincidentally I linked to him the last time I devoted a post to the topic – Overcome a Fear of Failure.  On that occasion Henrik had been quoting Oprah; this time he has 10 great quotes and argues that by failing you build an inner strength and grow as a person.

Do we have to learn from failure?

I‘ve also been drawn to another blog post on the topic, this time by Dragos Roua, who says [Read more…]