I have done a few posts now looking at what we say - “how to say no“, “express opinions“, “express feelings” and confident communication (or “assertiveness“) in general. But I have yet to touch on how we sound, or the quality of our voice
Initially I’ll touch on why our voice lets us down when […]

[Read more →]

As well as expressing feelings, another thing that we can avoid if we lack self-confidence is expressing opinions. If you are asked for an opinion, the simplest route is to give honestly and without apologizing. This is an area where if you are in the habit of trying to please others, you’re going […]

[Read more →]

My posts on confident communication, or assertiveness, have looked at how to say no, and types of behavior that are not assertive - such as passive, manipulative and aggressive. I also went over a “bill of rights“, that expands on the underlying mindset behind assertiveness.
One right is to be able to say what or […]

[Read more →]

I have now put 10 blogs into the category of assertiveness - including all the saying “no” blogs and the bill of rights. But I have yet to define assertiveness, or say why it is so important for having great self confidence.
The best definition I can find, says being assertive means:-
“expressing my rights […]

[Read more →]

My final technique for saying “no”, is by far the simplest - but certainly not the easiest! By just saying “no”, and nothing else you may be perceived as rude or aggressive. But like all the other techniques, circumstances may demand it.
“Can you work tomorrows shift for me”
“No”
“Please, I really need tomorrow off”
“No”
“There’s […]

[Read more →]

Returning to confident communication and saying no. A variation on “broken record” is to add a reflection on what the person has said, before saying no in a firm way. It shows you are listening to the person, empathizing with them, but without being apologetic say no.
So if at the request from a […]

[Read more →]