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Are Affirmations Useless?

July 13, 2009 by David

Its 150 years since the publication of what is now regarded as the first self help book – Samuel Smiles “Self Help“.  Still on sale today – and apparently a big seller in countries such as Japan and China.  selfhelp1But when first published it sold 20,000 copies in its first year, and by the time of Smiles death in 1902 had sold over 1/4 million copies. In the 19th Century it was only out sold by the Bible!

In a recent radio program it was said Smiles book was published on the same day as “On Origin of Species” by Charles Darwin.  I cannot find any other proof of that fact. Either way,  it could be that Smiles message “Heaven helps those who help themselves” was reassuring to a society held together by Christian beliefs.

But the underlying message from Smiles was that success came through dedication and hard work.  He didn’t appear to believe in the concept of “genius”, all those he portrayed in his case studies got there by hard graft and application. Interestingly, this is a central theme of Malcolm Gladwell’s latest book, Outliers.

The End of Self Help?

oprah1I write this as some have been predicting the end of self help, [Read more…]

Filed Under: communication, self talk, self-confidence Tagged With: affirmations, oprah, self esteem, self-confidence, Self-help

Self Confidence Built into Genes? I don’t agree

July 5, 2009 by David

andymThere has been some recently published research that suggests that there is now a genetic basis to self confidence.  Originally in “Psychological Science”,  but picked up worldwide, this research compared pairs of twins – half identical, half non-identical – usually the benchmark for sound academic research.

I’ve not seen the source article with the full methodology, only the reports, but the main researcher Professor Plomin is extensively quoted.  However, he made the mistake of getting carried away by the Andy Murray fever that was gripping Britain last week to use Wimbledon to illustrate his theory:-

‘Everyone has assumed self confidence is a matter of environment.

‘Our research shows that it is certainly genetically influenced and that self confidence predicts achievement at school. It is the same in sport and we see it at Wimbledon.

‘A lot of the players are very good but there is something that goes beyond mere ability and it is the confidence in that ability.

‘Andy Murray seems to have amazing self belief whereas we all remember Tim Henman would play a few poor points and it seemed he would crumble – that difference may well be genetic.’ [Read more…]

Filed Under: self-confidence Tagged With: andy murray, genes, genetics, professor plomin, self-confidence, tennis, tim henman

Michael Jackson, the Curse of Talent?

June 28, 2009 by David

michael-jackson"Being confident is not always the same as being good at something"? That interesting statement appeared recently on another blog, My Life with Angels, which in turn was responding to a post by Maggie Stiefvater. On several occasions I have touched on the issue of whether being good at something is a key way to develop self confidence or healthy self esteem.  My favourite, How to Build Self Confidence Through Activity, looks at examples of children being taught karate, ballet and magic tricks.  I expressed doubt at the choices of ballet or karate,  as many fall by the wayside.  Unless you reach a certain level of competence neither activity will develop self confidence. Whilst success at an activity can help with self confidence, the argument from the other bloggers was you don’t have to first attain success or accomplishment to feel self confident. 

[Read more…]

Filed Under: assertiveness, confidence exercises, goal setting, happiness, self esteem, self talk, self-confidence Tagged With: michael jackson, self esteem, self-confidence, talent

Is Smiling Good for You?

June 16, 2009 by David

For some reason there have been a few articles about smiling recently. We all do it from time to time (don’t we?), but for most of us a smile isn’t our natural – or first choice – expression.

A Smile Will Win Over Anyone?

owl2
One  article I nearly didn’t read was a article entitled “physician job search tips“, which isn’t an arresting title for non physicians.

However, as the author had used a “smilie” to illustrate his “tip seven” it caught my eye:-

“Enthusiasm. Bring an absolutely positive attitude without being too familiar. Negativism is not allowed. Sell yourself. The difference between bragging and self confidence is enthusiasm.
Smile. A genuine heart warming smile can win over anyone…whether you interview for physician jobs or not.”

The difference between bragging (or arrogance?)  and self confidence is enthusiasm? I think there is a lot of truth in that. And the advice, like most  of of the other tips, applies whether you are going for a job interview or going into work at a job you’ve been doing for many years. [Read more…]

Filed Under: appearance, confidence exercises, self-confidence Tagged With: appearance, body language, confidence, self esteem, self-confidence, smile, smiling

Toxic People and Spots

June 3, 2009 by David

I’ve started receiving feedback from my newsletter, Self Esteem Review. Since that only appears in my inbox, I feel I need a some way of posting the more significant letters on this blog, so anyone can respond with comments.

So, whilst I’m not too sure how best to work this, I’ve decided to go ahead and post the latest and see what anyone thinks about this.

In This Issue:-

* 8 Toxic Personalities to Avoid
* Do My Spots Look Good on This?
* Quotes of the Day  [Read more…]

Filed Under: appearance, newsletter, self esteem, self-confidence Tagged With: appearance, Duke of Edinburgh, gold, newsletter, personalities, photographs, self esteem, toxic

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