On my post improving self confidence I mentioned I had recently joined and started contribtuing to the “Personal Development for smart people” forum, part of Steve Palina‘s site. Steve has probably the most popular personal development website around – although ironically the most recent post when I found it was about living in Las Vegas! However, there is plenty of good, relevant stuff on his blog and some stimulating posts on the forum. But, returning to the forum, in my opinion there is also an awful lot of nonsense. [Read more…]
improve self confidence
This is going to be a fairly rambling post! Recently I joined a self development forum, partly to promote this site, but also to try and interact with others either with problems or solutions. The problem when you start blogging is you don’t get much feedback as to whether or not anyone is out there!
What I’m getting around to saying, is on a recent response to a question on self confidence, my reply was:- [Read more…]
Expressing opinions
As well as expressing feelings, another thing that we can avoid if we lack self-confidence is expressing opinions. If you are asked for an opinion, the simplest route is to give honestly and without apologizing. This is an area where if you are in the habit of trying to please others, you’re going to have to make some changes!
If you try to avoid offending or upsetting people by agreeing with them all the time, then you will never command any respect from them – or yourself. As with feelings, keep it simple and personalize – [Read more…]
Body language
Some posts, such as the recent “Can you improve confidence with a smile” have touched on the importance of what we communicate with our body. I have read that 65% of the signals we send one another in conversation are visual rather than audible.
There are some common examples of poor body language that can convey a lack of confidence. Avoiding eye contact, looking downwards, having arms crossed, limp handshakes, excessive sweating… I’m sure you can think of others. [Read more…]
How to expressing feelings
My posts on confident communication, or assertiveness, have looked at how to say no, and types of behavior that are not assertive – such as passive, manipulative and aggressive. I also went over a “bill of rights“, that expands on the underlying mindset behind assertiveness.
One right is to be able to say what or how you feel, and what you want. Being unable to say how you feel can lead to frustration, and ultimately conflict. If you feel strongly about something, its important to acknowledge it, and make others aware of how you feel.
A useful way to express feelings is to use the following structure:- [Read more…]
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